Category: Random

  • Jebaiting the audience.

    Jebaiting the audience.

    The other day I was just thinking to myself, what makes a story memorable? For me, it’s usually the ones with the most interesting endings. When the conclusion feels like it came out of nowhere, but it really wasn’t – I just wasn’t paying enough attention.

    On the other hand, not every story needs to be The Village (remember those What a Twist! skits in Robot Chicken?). They only need to be interesting to me (I included the caveat because what I find interesting might not be to someone else and vice versa – but now when I think about it, that applies to anything creative, so I don’t think I need to mention it in the first place. I digress).

    When a story kicks off, it’s meant to draw you in. There are many ways to do this – you could start off in the midst of a high-tension scene (Bullets flew past my head as I dove headfirst into a pile of trash, but what greeted me was worse than the bullets I was avoiding), or a vague quote that entices the audience to continue reading (Sometimes I ponder the meaning of bukkake armpit pickles), perhaps a click bait title (How to Make Money Without Lifting a Finger) – the possibilities are endless.

    Once you’ve got them hooked, the next part would be to keep them interested all the way until the end. This part is usually easier than starting or ending (at least in my opinion). Because the story hasn’t come to a conclusion, you have space and time to open and close new or existing threads to keep readers invested – they’ve already gone beyond the intro at that point, so they’ll continue until the end. Unless you purposely write something terrible to turn them off.

    Now comes the hard part – an ending that’s sensible yet unpredictable, and not abrupt unless that’s what you’re going for. It can come to an end right after a climactic conclusion, or the story can let the reader down slowly – winding down gradually until the reader is satisfied. Maybe there will be hints to a sequel, prequel, or a spin-off. Maybe the ending could be interpreted differently. Whatever it is, if it leads to discussion, it’s probably a good ending (unless the topic is about looking for plot holes).

    A good story will leave you satisfied, like a bowl of good prawn mee (and this is where this story falls apart because I’m horrible at describing how tasty food is). Unlike me, Uncle Keong gets it right – he spins a good tale from start to finish. From the dish’s mouth-watering appearance that draws you in at the beginning, to its perfectly cooked noodles which keep you wanting more, and the delicious residue of prawns, onions and chili at the bottom of the soup – you’ll be satisfied when you reach the bowl’s conclusion.

    If I could, I’d give this place a Michelin star, then again, those stars are overrated and would only draw a crowd I don’t want to this place. Thanks to my limited readership, this won’t be a problem. The next time you’re looking for some prawn noodles in Taman Desa, look no further.

    Heaven in a bowl
  • Comments left unsaid

    I’ve written about the perks of online dating before, and one of the best things about not being face to face (initially, at least) is the ability to take the time to think of what you want to say before hitting the send button. This aspect also translates to other aspects of online communication – like leaving comments or writing posts on Facebook. Believe it or not, despite all the stupid things I share online, there are a lot of things I’ve stopped myself from posting after second thoughts. As we all know, once something goes online, it’s pretty much there forever (probably more applicable to people with a following, but nevertheless a good thing to keep in mind if you’re worried about any backlash).

    I don’t know if it applies to everyone but I have erased a lot of comments and posts I’ve made online before hitting the send button. 99% of the time, I decide it’s not worth saying anything because it honestly doesn’t affect my life or I don’t care about it enough. I just ignore the post and move on. In a few hours, the post will be buried, and you’ll never have to see it again.

    The 1%? I share stuff in a private group chat and talk about it there. That way I get the opinions of people I care about and not have to worry about what other people think about my views.

    And no, I’m not saying that it’s what everybody should do – far from it. I believe in the freedom the internet provides us, after all, who doesn’t like to laugh at the stupid shit that some people say?

    On that note, why do some people insist that you ‘pm for price’? I never understood that and still don’t. It’s a fucking marketplace, people expect to be told the price of an item before they decide if they want to buy it. Why is it private information? Are you going to tell people different prices depending on who’s asking? Are you going to dispute complaints that people may have about the price because it isn’t listed publicly? Why not just put the regular price down and give discounts privately? Why make people jump through extra hoops just to buy your shit? It’s so scummy. I read news about it being made illegal a while ago yet I still see people doing it. If you’re selling stuff, don’t be a dipshit and post your prices publicly.

  • The finality of death.

    Yesterday, the empty spot next to my grandma’s urn was filled with my grandpa’s. It sucks that he’s no longer around, but I believe it’s better than living tethered to a bed.

    Thank you for all the trips to the cinema to watch Jacky Chan movies. Thank you for buying those tapes of Mind Your Language (I think it was Mind Your Language, I’m not 100% sure) so we could enjoy learning English together.

    Thank you for all the trips to Genting Highlands, I hope you weren’t too scared when I was behind the wheel for one of the drives. That C Class was a blast to drive. The first time I saw a car phone was in your old ass Mercedes. I wanted to press the buttons but was told not to fuck around with it.

    There was one time, we were coming down from Genting and I couldn’t hold my pee in. I remember grandma had to hold a bottle for me to pee in because you didn’t want to stop the car, or there wasn’t a stop nearby – I forgot. All I gotta say is that was one messy trip. Sorry, grandma.

    Grandpa’s death reminded me of two stories. One – from a motivational speaker who was saying that everything in life is neutral – it is up to you to place a value onto it. He gave an example about the death of a loved one. It isn’t inherently bad or good – you decide what it means to you. It can be negative in the sense that you’ll miss that person, or in some cases their debts/problems get pushed to you. It can be positive because they no longer have to suffer, and it brings families together. Especially if they don’t meet up very often. This time, I experienced the latter. It was nice catching up. I still don’t agree with trying to convert attendees during a wake, but hey – it wasn’t my say as I didn’t organize it. Also, what’s the point of eternal life? Stay classy, Christians.

    The second story was more of a joke/”psychological test” that I heard many years ago about why someone would murder their own family member to go to a funeral again. I wasn’t planning to kill anyone, it was just one of the things that popped into my mind.


    I’ve been to way too many funerals recently (they’re not enjoyable even though they contain the word ‘fun’) – hopefully this will be the last post on the topic for a while.

    Rest in peace, grandpa.