Why Would I Write

Category: Random

  • #livingmybestlife

    If religion is for everyone then why are some people ‘better’ at it or on a higher level? I mean, it’s supposed to be a way of life. If you’re not elevated enough, you have to suffer with the rest of the non-believers.

    How can one person be closer to god than the others? How do we even know that they’re really closer? Is there some sort of scale or progression meter that tells a person how close they are to being next level? How does one decide that a person is ready to lead a church or not? Do they really get visions from god?

    How do we know they’re not hallucinations, delusions, or just lies? There’s no way to verify. I could write a story about seeing a flaming chariot on the way to work and a burning bush calling out my name, but when I tried to record it on my phone, the video only showed a black screen and a voice faintly calling out a word that resembled ‘George’. Then the next day, I woke up and there was blood on my wrists and I hear the voice of Christ (how do I even know what he sounds like?) telling me to sacrifice my dog and paint my eyes with her blood, so I could see the truth. I did all that, and I started seeing the true intentions of people around me. And as you read this, feeling incredulous and think that I’m joking, I’ll tell you that you don’t believe me because you haven’t seen the truth yet. You don’t know the truth, I do! You can’t tell me otherwise because I have seen it. There are no more wounds on my wrists because it’s a miracle.

    People will tell me I’m crazy and will recommend that I get checked up or sent to an institute. They’ll say I’m blaspheming. But I can say it’s the truth because I experienced it, and that you should believe me! Religion! It’s my calling! I know what’s going to happen to the world! However, nobody is going to be able to verify if I’m lying or not.

    Assuming I was telling the truth, does that suddenly elevate me to a higher status? Since I had visions and god spoke to me. Will people be more inclined to take my word as truth? Beats me.

    Why do we care or bother about what happens to us after we die? Why not make the most of what we know for sure – our lives that we are currently living. Sure, we don’t know for sure if we’ll be alive tomorrow morning, but we do know what we’re capable of doing in the next minute or hour. Just focus on that instead of trying to score brownie points for a proverbial next step. Like, who cares what people think of you after you’re gone? Why not work on the people who do care while you’re still around?

    It’s as if there’s not enough to do in this life already, people are doing more things to make sure they’ve got a good shot at going to heaven. What is heaven? Nobody knows. Everything we’ve read about it – all written by people who haven’t been there. There’s no proof it exists, yet so many people are living their lives to get there someday.

    If god really wants everyone to live in paradise with him, why not just take everybody in? Why does he need the clause that you must submit your life to him in order to be accepted? What happens if you get to heaven and choose not to be a Christian anymore? Do you get kicked out? Do you get sent to hell?

    Why do people call other people ‘bro’?

  • Excuses or Dependencies?

    I’ve previously written about how I’ve conditioned myself to write when I’m outdoors with coffee and cigarettes. It’s not much of a problem, since I don’t write that often, and I’ve been only writing for fun. However, today, as I sit here at a cafe, smoking and drinking coffee – I think I might have turned it into a habit. A dependency.

    Like sure, it’s great, I get to compartmentalize my life – home is for relaxing and fun, cafes are for working. I don’t think about work when I’m home, I just think of all the fun things I can do. But because of that, when I’m home – I don’t feel like working at all these days. Like, I can’t even take my laptop out to write a simple blog post. I have to drive out of the house, get a caffeinated drink and light up a stick to get the engine running.

    I admit, it works, but I don’t think it’s good in the long run. What if one day I have to quit smoking or drinking coffee? I guess I’ll learn to adapt, but if it’s in the middle of the day and I’m at the office with no chance to go out, then what? I sit at my desk and stare at the blank screen for hours?

    Maybe it’ll be different when I actually do start work. Since it’s been a long time since I’ve held a writing job. But I’ll probably have to condition myself again to work differently. Unless I get an office with a smoking room (hah!) that would be fun.

    What about other routines I have like taking a shit in the morning if not I’ll feel uneasy until I do? Is that a bad habit? People tell me it’s good that I have regular excretion habits, somehow I feel like I shit too much. It feels terrible leaving the house without taking a shit in the morning (i.e. I’m in a rush for a morning appointment). Especially during traffic jams. I always get the feeling like I’m about to shit my pants. Fortunately that hasn’t happened yet, but it’s bound to happen someday. right? I’ve had to deal with this for the longest time. Seems like another dependency to me.

    Just like the first stick of the day. I usually have one while waiting for my car engine to warm up or as I’m exiting my condominium if I’m in a rush. My day just doesn’t start without one. I guess it’s like brushing your teeth before you go to bed or when you wake up. Nobody feels good going to bed or going out without doing it. Right?

  • Out With The Old

    Today I spent about an hour clearing random shit from my room. Since it’s the new year, I figured that I’d tidy up my room a bit. I went through my desk and four drawers, picking up and throwing away stuff that I didn’t need. Turns out I had a lot of shit that was lying around. Bills, cards, broken pens, pieces of paper, my old TESOL assignments and teaching material, books, batteries, 56k modems (I found two of them), broken cables, used organizers, and press kits from my short stint reviewing movies a few years ago.

    Initially, I took the time to go through each item and realized that it would take too long, so I only took minor glances and what they were before deciding to throw them away. I had tons of rubbish, ended the night throwing away four bags of random shit.

    I applied the following principle to efficiently clean my room: if it was something that I hadn’t touched in years and there was no reason to keep it, I threw it away. I mean, if I hadn’t needed the items in years and I didn’t even know they were lying around in my room, they were as good as missing and it will probably be unlikely that I’ll ever need them in my lifetime. Hopefully this won’t come to bite me in the ass in the future, but we’ll see.

    I made some surprising discoveries – I found a lint roller and a portable vacuum cleaner. Two items that I had purchased in the last month. Could have saved myself some money if I had bothered looking for them (or remembered I had them in the first place). I also found my old cellphones – the Galaxy S2, Moto G and Redmi Note 3. I think they’re still semi-working, but I have no use for them. I’ll probably donate them or keep a couple around to mess with them.

    Next up, time to go through my cupboards to find even more things to throw away.

    I’m probably going to throw away my empty alcohol bottles because I don’t think it’s cool to keep them anymore. Also, they are a waste of space and a possible hazard. I’ve got tons of boxes that I kept because I thought they looked nice. They’ll be going too since I’m not going to move anywhere or resell those items they contained. I’m also going to go through my closet to get rid of clothes I never wear anymore. This should be fun!

    I’m retiring Music Mondays because I feel like they’re a bit too samey (both the bands I recommend and the way I describe them). Monday posts are now going to be miscellaneous!