Why Would I Write

Category: Thoughts

  • Diamonds In My Chain Gold

    Random thought post? Sure. I haven’t done one of these in a while.

    It’s interesting watching how my nephews are growing up. I’m happy that the elder one is generally obedient and very patient with his younger brother. I don’t know why, patience is one of those traits you don’t see in every kid. Hopefully his younger brother will follow in his footsteps. He’s definitely not patient right now. However, they are both extremely loving and caring towards their younger sister, so that’s a good sign. Crankiness seems to be a common factor if you try engaging with them after they wake up. They need a couple of hours to warm up it seems.

    Today’s kids are the TV – or screen – generation. At least based on my observation. Not that there’s anything wrong, it’s just how times have evolved. Like back in my days, it was action figures and army men. TV only became a hobby much later in life. Nowadays, we have access to so many more displays – everywhere we go we either have a TV, smartphone, tablet or laptop. Back then, all we had was the living room TV and the shared family computer. Even I’m a TV kid now – these days I fall asleep watching Twitch streams or YouTube videos, and it’s all by my own volition. I bring my phone into the toilet to Reddit while I take a shit. I listen to podcasts from my phone while I’m driving. I read articles or watch videos while eating if I’m by myself.

    Now that I own a smartwatch, I can’t imagine spending money on a non-smart one. It’s crazy. A few years ago I would’ve said that was a ridiculous thought. Then again, it’s not like I was much of a watch person to begin with. But now that I’ve experienced life with one, I don’t think I could resort to regular watches. My phone already tells the time, why would I need something that only does the same thing? Also, the fact that I can change my watch face to match whatever I’m wearing (not that I do it very often) means I have a watch to suit every occasion.

    Even with access to every kind of music imaginable, these days I still find myself going back to the same old artists – Post Malone, Joji, Rich Brian, Higher Brothers, Dance Gavin Dance, Emery and Tilian are my jam right now. I guess I’m a creature of habit. Every time I hear songs from them played in random locations like cafes and clubs, it puts a smile on my face. I get so hyped for no reason. I used to feel the same way back then when there wasn’t internet streaming music. It’s amazing how the way I react hasn’t changed.

    Vaping is more enjoyable when you have a good coil and good juice. It can definitely replace cigarettes. Not that I’ve been looking to do that – it’s just something I noticed. Snus are still great. I make sure I have some with me all the time.

    I think I am easily influenced – at least by people I like. I don’t think I’m a trendsetter. Not that it matters, but quite a number of things I’m into now are directly because of my friends.

    Dabbing for photographs is very cringeworthy.

    Unironically, I’m a Pewdiepie fan. I enjoy watching his videos. He deserves his success.

    Better Call Saul’s next season can’t come soon enough. I’ll have to settle for Riverdale in the meantime.

    Having a beard hides your double chin. Then again, maybe I should work on losing weight instead. I have been watching my diet again though. Went for a health check up the other day and was told by the doctor that my BMI was a bit high. Fair enough, I thought, since I had let my diet loose for a while.

    My laptop is still under repair, which kinda sucks. On the bright side, I still have been able to complete my work using a tablet – great because it takes a lot of weight off my shoulders when I walk around with my backpack. Typing on the screen is still terrible but I’ve got some great portable keyboards which rectifies this issue. Battery life on this tablet is also insane – I love how I don’t have to worry about keeping it charged.

    Animal Bus is officially in the works. Stay tuned for updates 🙂

  • 1500 kilograms of Rolling Metal

    Today, as I was watering my plant (is it singular even though there are many stems in a single pot?) after not being home for the past day, I thought to myself, “man, this plant has no choice over whether it lives or dies.” I felt the power in my hand as I clutched the trigger of my spray bottle. The plant is only alive because I decided that it should remain that way. How often are you in that sort of situation? Maybe we need licenses to be plant owners. Pet owners too. That way, not everybody can own and mistreat pets. Only those with licenses. Make the fee to obtain a license high, requiring many hours of practice before they can do the difficult exam.

    Because if there’s one thing in the world that we have too many of – it’s shitty drivers on the road. I think it’s currently too easy to obtain a driver’s license. When probably half (*sources needed) the drivers in KL have bribed their way through the exam (I’m proud to say that I’m not one of those people), you know that being on the road is not the safest place to be. If you think about it, being behind the wheel is a huge responsibility.

    You are in control of a fast-moving hunk of metal that is strong enough to kill almost any living being if you hit them in the right place. That’s a lot of power for someone to have – especially when you’re not even 18. There are many lives to worry about – your own, your passengers (if you have any), and everyone else who isn’t in your car (whether they’re pedestrians or riding in other vehicles). Just one car is capable of killing so many people.

    When I was younger, I remember being in the car with my uncle and siblings. We were traveling on a highway (I think it was to church). I was lost in a book or listening to the radio, when my uncle’s voice made me look up. It was something along the lines of ‘oh my god’. I was worried, I thought we were going to get into an accident. There was nothing in front of us, but I saw him looking at the car’s rear-view mirror. He stopped the car by the side of the road and told us what happened.

    Apparently, we had driven past a pregnant woman who was trying to cross a busy highway. My uncle had kept an eye on her through the rear-view mirror but when we had driven quite a distance away, he saw the lady being flung in the air after getting hit by a car. She didn’t manage to make it to the other side. Which was why he pulled over at the side of the highway. We all bowed our heads in prayer as he said one for the lady. I don’t know if she or her child made it, or if the driver was harmed. It was shocking at that time, but I never thought much about it after that.

    A few days ago, I had a friend fall asleep at the wheel – fortunately he’s still alive and well. Nobody was killed. Funny thing was, I told him about the importance of sleep (especially if you’re a doctor working long shifts – highly specific, I know – but I learned a lot listening to an episode of the Joe Rogan podcast).

    Doesn’t really have anything to do with my blog post – but it was about driving, so I figured I’d throw it in before I forgot it. Listen to the Joe Rogan experience – it’s one of my favorite podcasts now. I don’t listen to every single episode – just the ones with guests that I think would interest me and I haven’t been let down so far.

  • I Don’t Wanna Go to Jail

    The other day I read something interesting: When you remember a past event, you’re actually remembering the last time you remembered it, not the event itself. I don’t know if it’s common knowledge but it has been explored in one of my favorite movies of all time – Memento. Anyway, reading about it depressed me a bit. It means unless you have photographic memory, each time you try to remember something in the past, you start to lose pieces of it. Details will change, events will change, feelings will change, and eventually the memory will be drastically different from what it once was. It sucks, but that’s how our brain works. It’s one of the reasons why I like writing down my thoughts whenever they pop into my mind. I know they won’t be the same if I think about them again in the future – how I felt, what I was thinking about etc will all be different after a few days or weeks. If I’m in front of the computer, I try to blog them, if I’m out and about, I make little notes on my phone to write about them later. In addition to thoughts, one of the things I like recording are my dreams. Which brings me to writing about a dream I had last night. I recorded it as soon as I woke up, but details had already started to fade as soon as I started typing them into my phone:

    I dreamed about beating up a politician. I had no idea why or what made me do it but I did it. He was unarmed and I had a stick with me. He was defenseless. Also, this took place while I was holidaying with my friends.

    Anyway I was caught on camera, because I made no attempt to cover up, and I still fled from the scene of the crime. The authorities dropped by the hotel to question me and they told me that I would be going to jail. So for the next few nights, I declined going out with my friends. I just stayed in the hotel. I said I was gonna go to prison any time, so they should have fun without me.

    I didn’t end up in jail, and our holiday concluded with no drama. Maybe I couldn’t dream what the interior of a jail was like, so my brain skipped that part. Or maybe the worrying was done on purpose to make me feel worse. Things could have been interesting or fun in jail? I don’t know. Fucking brain.

    But during my time alone, I kept thinking to myself, oh shit my life is ruined. Nobody is going to hire me anymore. I’ll be a stain in society. I was going to have a criminal record. I wasn’t going to get a decent salary anymore. I was so worried. And I kept thinking, why the fuck did I do that? I wasn’t instructed to. Nobody convinced me or paid me to beat up that old man. I did it on my own! I was filled with regret.

    And so, this morning I woke up feeling like I never want to go to jail, ever. Need someone to beat up a politician? Don’t call me.