Why Would I Write

Category: Thoughts

  • Kill The House Lights

    So, for the past few days I’ve been busy with the death of a family member and I’ve learned a few things from the experience.

    Crying is contagious. Holding back tears could be a sport, like tickling competitions.

    Wakes and funeral services aren’t cheap. I’m not kidding when I say that it can cost as much as a car to have one of these events (probably due to the provider our family used, I’m sure there are cheaper alternatives out there). It might just be me, but I can’t begin to fathom why people would spend so much on someone who will have no idea what goes on after they have departed from this world. Sure, it’s a sign of respect and all that jazz, but honestly, I still believe in not having a funeral. All the money spent could have been put towards many other things that people can actually appreciate, but hey – it’s not my money so I don’t get a say. I mean for goodness sake, you buy a nice box to put a body in – just to incinerate it a few days later. And people chide me for smoking cigarettes. At least I get some enjoyment out of it.

    Did you know that the only difference between a casket and a coffin is in the design of the box? I thought they were interchangeable words. I had to google it to find out.

    I thought it was pretty morbid showing my grandpa where grandma’s urn would be stored. Hers took up half of the storage area and his urn is supposed to be placed in the other half. I wonder if he even understood what had happened and what was going on. He didn’t say anything about it. He also tried to shift gears and pull the hand brake while I was driving him home. I stopped him from doing it, of course. Would have been a messy sight if anything happened.

    Trying to recruit people to join your religion during a wake is a dick move. I don’t care if that’s your mission in life as a pastor, but there’s a time and place for everything and hijacking a mourning ceremony for brownie points is not the way to go. I’m glad nobody came forward that night. Nobody comes to these events to be converted, it’s not some MLM free training bullshit event. Idiot.

    And while we’re on the topic of conversions, how are deathbed conversions acceptable? I honestly don’t understand. People who are desperate to survive will say and agree to anything if they think it gives them a chance to live. It’s like telling a criminal to confess to a crime so he will be given a lighter sentence – and then sentencing him to a lifetime in prison anyway because he confessed. Why do religions even accept conversions under such circumstances? Isn’t it as valid as information given under duress? It may or may not be honest, there’s no way to tell. Just let people be. Is it so hard to let someone live their remaining days out without trying to get them to believe in your higher power?

    Rest in peace, grandma.

  • It’s just nice to know you’re not alone.

    It would be typical to say things like, I know I wish I had spent more time with you while you were still around. But we both know that isn’t true. Regardless, I shall write about the times I can remember. All the trips to the cinema with you and grandpa when I was younger is probably one of the reasons why I love film. The Sunday morning Dim Sum meals were a good reason to skip church. The countless trips to Port Klang for seafood taught me I was mildly allergic to shellfish. You calling me George and not by my Chinese name cemented the fact that nobody would ever use it (remains true till today).

    I also learned that Genting Highlands was a great place to relax, especially for the older crowd. I also learned that Hakka was similar to Cantonese – not that I was proficient at either dialect. Trying to talk to you was always a challenge. Something I’ll dearly miss.

    This year’s Chinese New Year isn’t going to be the same again. No more delicious food or angpows that had more money than we deserved for being little shits. The fire crackers at your house was always the loudest. I doubt they were legal, but hey – it was so much fun wading through the sea of red paper in the aftermath.

    Taking care of grandpa was something you were the best at. I wonder if he’ll realize that you’re finally gone. You’ve lived a long and wonderful life, and raised wonderful children and grandchildren. While it saddens me that you’re now gone from this world, it’s for the best. You’re in better place now. Rest in peace, grandma.

  • You can play it sensible, a king of conventional or you can risk it all and see

    Sometimes I just enjoy sitting with a cup of coffee in a cafe, with nothing on my mind and my laptop opened in front of me. I know I should be writing but I have nothing to write about. So I launch FocusWriter and start writing about not having anything to write. I think it’s because I enjoy pressing keys on keyboards.

    There’s just something therapeutic about pushing buttons on a keyboard and watching characters appear onscreen. It doesn’t even have to make any sense. It doesn’t have to be meaningful. I guess it’s like jerking off, except that you can do it in public without getting arrested. I mean, technically, there is no reason for anyone to jerk off. It’s just fun to do.

    I’ve been listening to the soundtrack of The Greatest Showman for the past few days. It’s really good. I was pleasantly surprised by how contemporary the songs are. When the first song started playing, I genuinely thought I was in the wrong cinema. My expectations were surpassed for the film. Sure, the story is nothing to shout about, but the songs and the choreography are top-notch. Definitely worth rewatching or relistening to. I thought the movie felt a bit short (probably because I enjoyed it so much) and I was surprised when I learned that it was 2 hours long.

    Also, I stayed to watch all of the credits because I half-expected to see Fall Out Boy being credited for the movie’s songs. I can easily imagine Patrick Stump performing the songs on it.

    I’ve been at my new job for two weeks, yet I’ve worked for less than 10 days. Thank you blessed public holidays.

    I’ve had phlegm-filled lungs for the past 3 weeks. I wonder if I’m extremely sick. Coughing everyday and blowing your nose every hour gets kinda annoying. A part of me thinks I should get it checked out. Another part of me thinks that it’s going to go away eventually. Other than that I feel fine. Then again, there are quite a number of sick people in the office. Maybe it’s just a bug going around.

    Having experienced keyboards of all sizes, the only thing left for me to try are Topre switches, the HHKB layout, and ortholinear/split keyboards. I’m currently doing fine with the Core and inserting apostrophes are almost second nature to me now. Still struggling with numbers, brackets and symbols like !@#$%^. But I think I’m getting better. I also started pressing Shift with my left pinkie. I’m also liking the arrow cluster on the bottom right of my board instead of using Fn + IJKL – it makes text selection so much easier.

    I wonder how much coffee I need to drink before one cup isn’t enough to perk me up. I can go for days without drinking any coffee, so I don’t think I’m addicted to it. Cigarettes on the other hand, haha. Wedding dinner to attend later, been a while since the last one. Should be fun mingling with people I don’t really know. Who am I kidding? I’m just going to hang out with the people I know. To vapers out there – do you keep a bottle of juice with you if you don’t have a bag to bring? Feels odd to me. Which is why I usually just go out with cigarettes. They’re much smaller and I don’t have to worry about running out of battery or fluid.

    I recently read that if you haven’t used your Steam Community Market account in a while, it gets disabled. Decided to put up all the trading cards I’ve collected over the past year on sale. Feels good getting a notification every few minutes about receiving a few cents. Eventually I’ll make enough to own a Dark Artistry Cape, you just wait!