Why Would I Write

Category: Thoughts

  • Pay To Die

    I’ve always told people who asked that I intend to leave this world when I’m forty. I figured that at that age, I would have experienced everything I would have wanted to experience and it would be a good age to go. But when I first started saying it, I had a long way to go. It hit me recently that forty isn’t too far away. Eight more years, that’s less than a decade.

    I still think it is a good age to go, but I was recently asked – what if you’re really happy and successful when you hit forty? I really don’t know. My plan at forty would be to do all the life-threatening activities like bungee jumping and skydiving and hoping one of those activities would kill me. But if you think about it, people don’t die that often doing those things. There’s probably a higher chance of my body developing cancer from smoking or my liver failing from drinking too much alcohol before that.

    In case you’re wondering, I’m not planning to kill myself. I just don’t want to be old, sick and a burden to people around me. Also, I’ll save a lot of money for people who plan to take care of me. I won’t have to let them decide if they should pull the plug on me. I’ll be too young to develop the usual old age debilitating illnesses. They can also save even more money with no funeral!

    Insurance. Why are people so comfortable with partaking in a business that is predicated on its customer being ill in order to reap any benefits? It’s kinda crazy if you ask me. For the longest time I didn’t bother with insurance because I thought it was a waste of money. I mean, it still is a waste of money – if you live the remainder of your life without being treated for anything major, you’ve essentially given away thousands for nothing. If you do end up using the insurance, it’ll be worth it. But it’s pretty much a gamble – like playing the lottery, instead you put your health on the line in order to win it. Anyway, I still have an insurance plan, but at least it has a savings component so I can get some of that cash back even if I don’t fall sick. I just have to be old enough to withdraw it.

    Today, I went to visit my grandmother in the hospital. She’s not doing too well. I’m not sure what’s going to happen. I hate jumping to conclusions but chances are high that she’ll be parting this world soon. She’s had a long and good life, and this may be a heartless thing to say – but she’s going to be happier when she’s gone. I hope she has a speedy recovery or passes away painlessly. Love you, grandma.

  • Words Per Minute

    Typing is such a fun activity. I remember when I was first introduced to a computer when I was a kid, I saw my uncle typing in commands in MS-DOS, and I thought it was such a ‘pro’ thing to do. So when I got my first computer, I was always booting up to play my games in MS-DOS mode even though they could run in Windows 95. I just preferred typing in commands in the console to run them – that was how much I enjoyed typing.

    Fast forward many years to a couple of years ago when I had to use my sister’s old laptop (because I didn’t have my own laptop) and installed Linux onto it, I had so much trouble using the command line (and Linux was all about the command line) because I couldn’t remember anything beyond the basic commands. Sure, the GUI was fully workable, but to make the most out of the operating system, you had to use commands. I was Googling how to do something different almost everyday. I was quite happy to switch to a Windows laptop after that.

    These days, unless I’m writing music (it’s quite a feat to write down lyrics with a guitar on your lap – much easier to put words on paper with a pen), I write with my keyboard. Like many things I enjoy, I’m not the best at it (gaming, music, drawing) but that doesn’t stop me from doing it. For some strange reason, it is satisfying to see characters appear on the screen each time you hit a key on your keyboard. Instant gratification. I guess the feeling of typing on a mechanical keyboard accentuates it as well.

    I’ve been spending a lot of time working on my typing speed recently by doing speed typing tests on Type Racer and Keybr. I have only hit 100 WPM once, but my average of 70 WPM is pretty good I guess. I probably need to type more (which I’ll do with my new job, starting next week yay) and eventually I’ll get faster.

    I don’t type correctly. I definitely don’t use the proper touch typing method – my pinkies don’t do a good job or picking up the slack, and I use my index fingers way too much. Not sure if I’ll be brave or bothered enough to learn a new layout like DVORAK (apparently you can form more words on the home row than with QWERTY) but as long as I type fast enough to be a qualified typist, that’s probably good enough for me.

    Maybe that’s why I enjoy playing Invoker. Casting combos quickly is as enjoyable as typing out a sentence quickly. With the added bonus of seeing enemies being blown up on your screen.

    Do I love typing more than writing itself? I guess there’s a chance that’s true. Then again I disliked taking minutes at my old job. I probably just enjoy typing what I’m interested in.

  • Rain

    For the past year, every time I’ve sent my car for a wash, it would rain later in the day. Case in point, I sent my car for a wash two days ago during lunch and it rained in the evening. I’m not even kidding. Unless you believe that there’s some greater being out there trying to fuck with me, there really is no relation between my car getting washed and the weather. But it did get me wondering why this always happens.

    Do I have a biological barometer that instructs my brain to send my car for a wash whenever it thinks it’s going to rain? Instead of my bones starting to hurt or my body getting aches, my tells me, “hey – the weather is going to get wet, you should get your car ready for it!” I don’t know why I don’t check the weather before I send my car for a car wash. It’s literally one swipe away on my homescreen.

    I know I’ve had some polarizing thoughts about our weather – before I experienced snow, I wrote about how great it would be to have cold weather in Malaysia but after that I wrote about how it was a hassle having to put on a coat and gloves every time you headed outdoors. The weather we had in KL last weekend was perfect. It was cold enough to put on a hoodie if you wanted, but not too cold to walk around in shorts and a t-shirt.

    Rain is great – if you’re not caught in a traffic jam or have anywhere to go to. It’s the perfect complement to a cup of hot coffee and some cigarettes. The sound of rain falling and hitting a roof is calming and therapeutic. I guess there’s a reason why RainyMood.com exists. I don’t know if it’s just me, but for some reason I feel colder whenever I put it on.

    Rain always comes to mind when I think about assigning values to situations/problems in life. To an area that is suffering from drought – rain is heaven-sent. To another place that is suffering from floods, rain is a nightmare. Rain, like everything in life, itself is neutral – it is your situation/mindset that determines how you see it.