Category: Thoughts

  • Add That to the List of Things I Need to Get Better At

    Add That to the List of Things I Need to Get Better At

    One of the fun things you get to do at my job is have casual conversations with the CEO. He doesn’t have enough time in a day to spend with everyone, so he started organizing meetings with groups of staff to get to know everybody better. My turn took place earlier this week and it was an enlightening session.

    He shared about the company, how we got our current office, what the industry and our competitors are up to and several anecdotes over an hour. But what left an impression on me was how he ended the session. He said (I paraphrase), “If you were me for a day, what would you do?”

    My mind blanked. I had no clue what to say. “I’d give George a lot of money!” I blurted out. Not the answer he was looking for. So the question was directed to my colleagues until it was my turn again. “I don’t know what to say,” I confessed. “But if I think of something, I’ll send you a message.”

    “Sure”, he replied.

    At first, I didn’t think much of it. It was a casual question, right? For fun, get to know the staff, and see what they would do if we were in his shoes.

    But then I started to overanalyze it, like I always do. What if this was some sort of test?

    After some quick research, it turned out that it’s a pretty common question people ask when they want to see how others think strategically. Upon learning that, I was like, “Ohhhhhhh.” Guess I bombed the test.

    Not that it mattered, I was unprepared, and if you know me, I’m not great at answering questions on the spot. Especially if it’s about something I’m unfamiliar with. Running a company? I don’t even know where to begin.

    Okay, that’s not true. I know a little bit. You see, before I became a book purchaser at Big Bad Wolf, I was brought on to help set up and run a charity organization. I’ll spare you the details, but basically, it never took off due to some issues. Eventually, I was asked to join Big Bad Wolf and since I was already working with the people there, I agreed.

    But during those six months, I helped set up the charity as a company. I had to get the company name registered, open a bank account, and do a whole bunch of miscellaneous things that I don’t remember anymore. So I did have some related knowledge. But I digress.

    Like I was saying; I’m terrible at answering questions on the spot. Especially, if I’m unprepared. Which was something I told my boss during my 1:1 last year. He mentioned that I seemed to freeze whenever he questioned me. I replied, “slow brain.” He asked if I was serious, I told him no but I asked to be informed of questions ahead of time so I could prepare.

    I’m not witty. Thinking of dubious nicknames for people, I can do (alliterations are awesome) but when it comes to work-related queries that matter? Struggle city. It’s one of my weaknesses that I want to work on. The other is procrastination – but that’s a story for another day.

    Taking my time to think of things to say is one of the pros of online dating. You can spend as long as you want thinking of a good response. There’s no need to answer quickly (until you go out, but by then, hopefully, you have your ducks in a row). Unfortunately, not every situation in life gives you time to formulate an answer.

    Like those times I applied to be an air steward, back in 2008. I was stumped during the first round of the interview process. All the tryouts were gathered in a room and were asked a question to proceed to the next stage. In both interviews, I failed the first round.

    In the first interview, I was asked, “What’s more important to you – money or power?” In the second interview, I was asked who was my favorite actor and why. Stupid, irrelevant questions to me back then, because I didn’t know their true purpose (you could tell, I didn’t prepare). But I left both interviews feeling puzzled and confused.

    Turns out they were testing my critical thinking skills and personality based on how I answered. Which brings me back to my chat with the CEO. If I were him for a day, what would I do?

    Honestly, I wouldn’t change anything. Even if we did, there’s no guarantee it would improve the company’s position. With every change, we could be facing new problems instead. I’m confident about the company’s direction and leadership. Even if we don’t make a triumphant exit, that’s okay. I’ve learned a lot in the past two years. It’s been a fantastic ride.

    Is it challenging? Yes. Time consuming? Yes. But that’s how most jobs are. I’m just grateful to have the opportunity to be part of this journey.

    Sure, it sounds like a cop-out answer and exposes my lack of ambition or vision, but I genuinely know I don’t know enough to take the wheel for a second. Sometimes I’d rather not say anything at all. I know my limits.

    Things can be better — but they can always be better. That’s life. It’s human nature to never be truly satisfied.

    Am I overthinking what was meant to be a casual closing statement? Maybe. But I’m glad it gave me something to write about.

  • The Vampires Come at Four in the Morning

    The Vampires Come at Four in the Morning

    As I age, I find myself thinking more about mortality, life, and how I spend my time. Not sure why, but it might be a consequence of growing old. After all, I’m reaching forty soon, the right age to depart this world. Before any ailments and debilitating illnesses have a chance to set in these old bones.

    Gone are the days of sleeping through weekends. I’m usually up before lunchtime, sometimes even early morning. I force myself out of bed to get shit done.

    Now that forty is not so far away, I find myself reconsidering that deadline. Especially since I’m now in the best shape of my life, thanks to gymming thrice a week. Although each session only lasts about an hour, I find the time constraint helpful in keeping me focused and not wasting it.

    Yet, efficiency eludes me at times. I still find myself daydreaming and procrastinating when I should be working instead. I also spend late nights working, mostly to catch up on work that I didn’t do during the day but also because I enjoy working at night. It’s quieter and nobody bothers me.

    When I want to eat at a restaurant but there’s a queue that’s too long? I skip it and go eat elsewhere instead. I often find that most restaurants aren’t worth the wait. There’s always an alternative place around the corner with no queue.

    I don’t mind eating meals alone these days either. I don’t have to wait for people to finish, plus I get to read and eat at the same time without being a jerk.

    “Time is a man-made construct.” The units we use to measure it are all man-made. We defined the seconds, minutes, hours, days, years, and so on to represent one of the fundamental aspects of the universe. Time goes on regardless of what we do, we’re just passengers along for the ride.

    For simplicity’s sake, we won’t take into account how long a person has been alive or how long they have left. Regardless of wealth, status, or background, everyone is given the same twenty-four hours a day. Time is the great equalizer. How everyone spends their time? That is the difference maker.

    Whether we want to use our time to achieve our goals, help others, or waste away – it’s all up to us. There are no rules for what we should do with our time. However, it is the major limiting factor to what an individual can accomplish.

    Entrepreneurs have great ideas they want to execute. But usually, they don’t have the time to do everything by themselves. Technically, they could learn all the required skills to be a one-man show, but it would take an unreasonable amount of time to see meaningful results.

    Since they have the money to spare, they hire other people who already have those skills to help them with their goals. These employees can spend their time doing things they already know. Collectively, they make up a company and together, they work to carry out the founder’s vision.

    Just like our passions and interests, it is up to us to allocate time to pursue them. There’s no such thing as not enough time. If can feel that way, but in the end it’s a choice. Like, I look at all these talented kids on YouTube making music and other content I wish I could produce and feel jealous.

    But then I tell myself I shouldn’t. I have the same amount of time as that kid, maybe even more. If I wanted to be as good as them, I would need to put the hours into practicing the right techniques and so on. To think otherwise would be to complain for the sake of complaining.

    Since I don’t do that, I obviously don’t feel like it’s important enough for me to make the necessary sacrifices. And that’s what life is all about – choices. The sacrifices we make. Like tasks we have to accomplish at work, we decide what to prioritize.

    Which ones do we want to accomplish sooner? What can we cut to make the task easier? What’s non-scope?

    If we really want something, we’d be willing to give up a lot of things for it. That’s just how humans function. If we’re desperate enough, nothing’s going to stop us. But most of the time, we’re comfortable enough to not want to make a change or put in any effort. So we end up stuck and not progressing.

    Of course, there’s no reason to rush anything – unless you set yourself a deadline you wish to stick to. We can still accomplish our dreams of getting better at things with incremental steps. Break down those large monumental dreams into smaller chunks. When your goals become bite-sized, they’re easier to complete.

    Be patient and take your time but be consistent. Thirty minutes a week improving a skill is better than spending zero minutes. Over time, the thirty minutes add up to hours. The next thing you know, you’ve spent more hours improving yourself than whining about it.

    Ultimately, life is defined by our choices and sacrifices, shaping our experiences and achievements through how we use our time. You don’t have to succeed immediately, but you need to start somewhere and keep going. A little bit each time will eventually get to where you want to be.

  • Click, Break, Repeat

    Click, Break, Repeat

    I’m a curious guy. I like clicking all the buttons in programs or pushing every button on a computer until I learn about what they do or things break. I enjoy discovering and experiencing new things. I like to try everything before forming an opinion.

    After all, there are some things out there you don’t know you need or enjoy until you’ve tried them. Like drugs.

    So when my company announced a monthly budget for mental health, I figured – hey, why not use it? I had never visited a therapist before and was curious about it. I didn’t think I needed mental help, but also I didn’t know if I didn’t need it.

    With that in mind, I went in with an open mind.

    I entered therapists near me in Google, and a center popped up a few minutes away from home. Sweet! Sent them an email to inquire about the price and process, and received a reply the next day. Gave them my WhatsApp number and I continued the conversation there.

    I had a conversation with the person running the account and booked myself an appointment shortly after. On the day of the appointment, I arrived at the center about five minutes early and was instructed to register myself.

    After that, I entered a room and waited for the therapist.

    She arrived after a few minutes and asked me what’s up? I told her I had this budget to spend, wasn’t sure if I needed therapy, and was giving it a shot. She nodded and asked me what she could help me with. I told her about my work-related problems.

    If you were expecting some tea, sorry to disappoint.

    We spoke for almost an hour, and she was unbiased and remained neutral throughout the whole session. The best part is, that she gave me some actionable advice, which I’ll share below. Hopefully, it can be useful to some of you too.

    Problem: Procrastination/Staying Focused

    • Measure the time you spend procrastinating
    • Once you know how long you’re procrastinating each day, shorten those breaks
    • Each week, try to reduce those unproductive minutes (e.g. 2 hours to 1.5 hours, to 1 hour, to 45 minutes, and so on)
    • Take short breaks every time you lose focus. Leave your desk and walk around, talk to people, then come back later
    • Write down your tasks and if possible, the time it takes to complete them, that will help you allocate your time each day

    Imposter Syndrome:

    • If you feel undeserving of compliments, look for proof of why you think you’re doing a bad job instead of looking for proof that a compliment is insincere

    General Mental Self-Care Tips:

    • Ask yourself how you feel every morning, talk to yourself. Voicing it out can help you understand yourself
    • Have something to look forward to every day. It can be as simple as watching a show or hanging out with a friend. Set a reward for yourself each day

    And that sums up my very first therapy session. Did it change me? Maybe. I did walk away with new knowledge. So what did I think of therapy?

    Therapists only know what you reveal to them. The quality of their advice is going to be based on how much or what you let them know. If you don’t give them anything to work with, they won’t be able to help you much.

    After my first experience, I’ve concluded that it’s not something I would pay so much for but because I get it for ‘free’, I wouldn’t mind going back again. Maybe I’d try other therapists just to see how different it can be.

    For now, I’ll try practicing what the therapist suggested and see if it helps me with my work. I’ll report in a few weeks, hopefully with good news.

    In the meantime, here’s a related song that features the Number 1 Hot New Band, Hot Mulligan. Happy Mental Awareness Week (one month late)!