Why Would I Write

Category: Thoughts

  • Thursday Thoughts/ Toll Tales

    So I fucked up my plan for this week :/ I didn’t draw on Monday, didn’t write on Tuesday, but I did play a gig on Wednesday. So I get 1/3. Figured I could right the wrong and make it 2/3 today. Hence me writing on a Thursday!

    So, here’s another installment on thoughts on toll booths. I don’t know why I find them so fascinating. Maybe I’ll work in one someday just to get the experience! Anyway I was thinking to myself the other day- do toll booth workers get toilet breaks? And what if they need to use the toilet during peak hours? I figured someone would come and take their place for awhile while they were gone. But let’s say they were at the furthest end from the control center (which is where I assume the subs should be resting)- they would have to wait for the sub to get out of the center, then make his way through the lanes (waiting to make sure the barrier is down before crossing) and then swap with the worker in need. Then that person would have to go all the way to the command center as well, while hoping they can hold their shit in. Imagine being scared by a truck/car while crossing the path. You shit in your pants right in the middle of the road. Hilarious.

    Then I thought to myself, maybe they don’t have to go so far- maybe they have a potty in their booth. Maybe what they are sitting on is a toilet bowl! And they actually have their pants down or no pants on at all! So they can go whenever they want to. So each toll booth is actually an air conditioned toilet. With a window. And a gate. Awesome. Imagine if your toilet was broken? The flush wasn’t working. Then the stench of shit would be in your toll booth the whole day. Not so awesome. So I went back to thinking again- maybe the toilet isn’t so far away and maybe it isn’t in their own booth. Maybe the toilets are in the Smart TAG/Touch n Go booths! I mean, those things have booths with nobody in them! Perfect places to put toilets. Nobody’s gonna go in them, and if the flush was broken, it wouldn’t really affect anybody!

    I think I really need some toll booth worker to share with me what life is like working in one.

    Toll booth chicks gone wild! I have no idea why I have this line saved in my phone. I think I must have thought about toll booth chicks flashing their tits when cars drive by. So wrong, I know.

    I’ve seen a couple of pretty toll booth girls before. Yeah and by couple I mean 2. Maybe 3. Not a lot. I wonder why there aren’t many hot chicks working in toll booths? I think if Taylor Swift worked at a toll booth, I would purposely use that toll at a certain time, and if possible, make a U-Turn to use that toll again just to see her. More money for the highway companies. I’m happy, they’re happy, everybody’s happy, and the world is a better place!

  • Plastic Bags/Girls.

    Have you ever wondered why a lot of plastic bags are pink/red/orange? You know, those thin bags that can be easily poked through with a finger. They come in the most horrible colors. Especially those you get from most mini marts or when you take away food from mamaks or hawker stalls.

    Do you ever wonder what goes through the plastic bag manufacturer’s mind when they make these bags? “Yes, these bags are gonna look awesome in shitty pink!” I mean what color are the bags naturally? (oh the irony) I’m assuming they are clear. So do they dye those bags? I mean how do they get those colors onto the bags?

    Then what about clear bags? Are they cheaper or more expensive to make? And why do clear bags seem to be stronger than colored bags most of the time? Does coloring the bag weaken the plastic? Does it matter? No. But I’ve always thought about these sorts of things. Is there a reason to everything?

    Why do girls move on so easily? Is it because they don’t care as much? Why do they find it easier to let go? Do they frame their minds to perceive that guys are assholes who deserve what they get no matter what happened? Because no matter how hard I try, I can call a girl a bitch, and try to mean it but I’ll never feel that way. Like I know that it’s a lie (even though it may be true) that I can’t believe. Are girls naturally designed to move on without a second thought?

    Is forever just a seven letter word?

  • Blurry Bush and Mosaic Cocks.

    So, I never really understood the concept of censoring porn. What is the point of it? Does it make it any less explicit than it already is? Do they get to sell porn at a G rating if it is censored? Why do they blur out the actor’s privates (or publics in this case) when we know what is really going on! They’re not erasing it (which would make a hell of a comedy if they did) so we still see the mosaic-fied penis or vagina. Just that it’s not as clear as the actor’s faces.

    Come on, we all know she’s not gonna be mistaken for doing anything else other than sucking a dick when her head is in between the legs of a guy and her head is going in a back and forth motion, mouth open wide, one hand on her tit (which they surprisingly don’t bother censoring) and while all this is going on the dude is grunting or giving words of encouragement. What else could she be doing? Brushing her teeth? (I’m talking about the regular brushing of the teeth, not with that sort of toothpaste mind you).

    Or how about when the girl is on the bed on her knees and the guy is pounding away at her from behind. And they show a close up shot. A frickin’ close up shot. With their privates censored. It’s like looking at tiles on the floor and listening to the sounds of people having sex. For chrissakes! We know he’s not telling her a bedtime story or helping her with her to tie her shoes.

    If anything needs censoring– wait, nothing needs censoring. People choose to watch porn! It’s not like they’re forced into downloading a 750mb video and made to sit through the whole thing. In fact movies in our cinemas don’t need censoring either. Why the hell do we have ratings when everything is cut up anyway? If kids are watching movies they shouldn’t be watching, blame the parents! Why make the adults who are allowed to enjoy such things suffer the consequences?