I realized I was procrastinating a lot in life. It wasn’t just work—even when it came to doing things for myself, like waking up earlier to get things done on the weekend, I’d put it off, which would then delay my later plans even further. It was a snowball effect.
I put off finishing my work as though I was practicing edging like there was no tomorrow—waiting until the eve of a deadline to submit it. Even though it wasn’t technically a problem, I felt guilty. I wasn’t being paid to goof off; I was paid to work during working hours. To deliver impact.
Instead of working at 100% efficiency like my hardworking colleagues during office hours, I spent my nights catching up on work to compensate. I felt that I needed to because I wasted time during the day, so it was my penance to continue working after hours.
Never mind the fact that I tell myself I’m more productive at night. Maybe that’s just an excuse—after all, productivity shouldn’t depend on the time of day.
You know how when you’re doing something unproductive, your mind sometimes wanders, and you think, Why am I doing this when I could be doing something productive instead? That’s been me for the longest time.
I don’t stop whatever I’m doing, mind you—I just think about what I should be doing instead. It’s not great, to be honest. This all started earlier this year when I thought to myself, Hmm, how do I get rid of my procrastination habit? Ironically, I was procrastinating when that thought occurred to me.
I kept falling into the same cycle. I was gaining nothing by procrastinating, yet I kept doing it, despite knowing it was a problem. But I couldn’t just stop. It’s one of the most difficult things to overcome, especially when it’s a habit you’ve spent most of your adult life reinforcing.
So I decided to speak to my therapist about it. Not the edging part—that analogy only popped into my head tonight—but the part about feeling bad about procrastinating. I wanted to stop.
Besides giving me actionable goals, she dug deeper to find the root cause. She shared an image of a triangle and explained:
Feelings, thoughts, and behavior are all linked. If you understand what triggers your emotions or thoughts while procrastinating, you can identify the underlying cause.
She also told me that nobody can stay focused for eight hours a day. It’s simply not human. Everyone needs breaks.
Regardless, we’ve spent the past few weeks trying to uncover the core issue.
I’ve tried recording my thoughts and feelings, but so far, I’ve got nothing. Maybe it’s suppressed trauma. Maybe it’s something else. The problem is, I don’t feel much of anything when I procrastinate. I don’t even think about it. I just do it.
In the meantime, she gave me some actionable goals—similar to what my previous therapist suggested:
- Try the Pomodoro technique.
- Break big tasks into smaller ones to make them more manageable.
- Reward yourself. Give yourself something to look forward to.
- Time your breaks. Be mindful of how long they last.
This time, I took the timing advice seriously, and it’s helped the most. I started tracking my daily activities.
When you start paying attention to how you spend your time, it brings clarity and focus. You can measure how much time is truly wasted and how much is spent working hard. And surprisingly, it’s been working. I’m not a machine (yet), but I’ve been more productive than before.
I even did something unthinkable. For the first time in eighteen years, I filed my taxes the same week I received my tax form. A small task, but to me, a massive accomplishment.
Imagine if I could be 100% productive when I’m supposed to be. How powerful would that make me???
In the end, it’s just like managing your finances. They say the easiest way to save money is to track your spending so you can see how much you waste or save. The same applies to time. And to your caloric intake. And your fat or muscle gains. Track everything that matters to you.
It’s never too late to start paying attention.
So, tonight, for the first time in a long time, I’m sitting at a cafe, typing out this little essay—not worrying about work. Because I was productive earlier today and finished my tasks before leaving the office. There’s still work to be done, sure, but that’s for tomorrow.
For those of you struggling with procrastination—if you want to overcome it, you can. Start today.
Leave a Reply