Thursday Thoughts/ Toll Tales

So I fucked up my plan for this week :/ I didn’t draw on Monday, didn’t write on Tuesday, but I did play a gig on Wednesday. So I get 1/3. Figured I could right the wrong and make it 2/3 today. Hence me writing on a Thursday!

So, here’s another installment on thoughts on toll booths. I don’t know why I find them so fascinating. Maybe I’ll work in one someday just to get the experience! Anyway I was thinking to myself the other day- do toll booth workers get toilet breaks? And what if they need to use the toilet during peak hours? I figured someone would come and take their place for awhile while they were gone. But let’s say they were at the furthest end from the control center (which is where I assume the subs should be resting)- they would have to wait for the sub to get out of the center, then make his way through the lanes (waiting to make sure the barrier is down before crossing) and then swap with the worker in need. Then that person would have to go all the way to the command center as well, while hoping they can hold their shit in. Imagine being scared by a truck/car while crossing the path. You shit in your pants right in the middle of the road. Hilarious.

Then I thought to myself, maybe they don’t have to go so far- maybe they have a potty in their booth. Maybe what they are sitting on is a toilet bowl! And they actually have their pants down or no pants on at all! So they can go whenever they want to. So each toll booth is actually an air conditioned toilet. With a window. And a gate. Awesome. Imagine if your toilet was broken? The flush wasn’t working. Then the stench of shit would be in your toll booth the whole day. Not so awesome. So I went back to thinking again- maybe the toilet isn’t so far away and maybe it isn’t in their own booth. Maybe the toilets are in the Smart TAG/Touch n Go booths! I mean, those things have booths with nobody in them! Perfect places to put toilets. Nobody’s gonna go in them, and if the flush was broken, it wouldn’t really affect anybody!

I think I really need some toll booth worker to share with me what life is like working in one.

Toll booth chicks gone wild! I have no idea why I have this line saved in my phone. I think I must have thought about toll booth chicks flashing their tits when cars drive by. So wrong, I know.

I’ve seen a couple of pretty toll booth girls before. Yeah and by couple I mean 2. Maybe 3. Not a lot. I wonder why there aren’t many hot chicks working in toll booths? I think if Taylor Swift worked at a toll booth, I would purposely use that toll at a certain time, and if possible, make a U-Turn to use that toll again just to see her. More money for the highway companies. I’m happy, they’re happy, everybody’s happy, and the world is a better place!

Semalat Malam

So I took a cab home from the LRT station last night(my car’s still at the workshop) and I decided to strike up a conversation with the cab driver. For lack of something better to do. I figured the worst thing that could happen is I learn some new malay words right?

He was a nice driver and we talked about a few different topics on the short drive back. One thing I learnt from him was that running on gas saves alot of money. He told me that RM8 of gas could get him to LCCT airport and back to kl. I had no idea you saved that much. Spend 3-3.5k, get NGV installed in your car and you won’t regret it! (He spoke in malay of course).

When I reached my condo (safely), I paid him and as I got out of the car, I thought I’d wish him a goodnight, and so I said ‘Semalat Malam’. I think he didn’t hear me properly, but he returned the greeting and I got out of the car. After walking a few meters I realized what I had said to him. Semalat Malam. HAHA.

I chuckled to myself and walked up the stairs to my unit.

Why people don’t hold the poles in trains.

So this post was supposed to be accompanied by a drawing of an old lady with sagging tits sandwiching the metal pole, but I couldn’t come up with anything as tasteful as circus granny (lol)

Anyway, I just had a thought about why some people don’t hold onto the pole on the trains- maybe they’re afraid of the things the pole has come into contact with before. Then I started thinking about what could touch those poles, and instantly the idea of a grandma came to my head. I swear, I don’t know why. Haha

How about the butt cheeks of some over sized person or just someone with dirty hands?

Cleanest part of the LRT to hold on to? Probably the ceiling of the train. Though not everybody is tall enough to reach it comfortably.

Okay this post was a pointless introduction to the promotion of my next performance:

Doppelganger 23rd November 2008
8.30-12am
RM20 per entry (you get one drink)
Marketplace KL

Main acts:
– Mei Chern
– Markiza & Peter Hassan Brown
– Benchmarx
– Jasmine Low

click here for the official flyer

I’ll playing the open mic spot 😀 so come and watch!