PastPosts reflection #1

I recently signed up for PastPosts.com just get an idea just to see what I’ve been up to over the past year, maybe it’ll give me a chance to reflect on my life, to think about what I’ve done since then. It’s a pretty interesting service and I think you guys should check it out too, if you’re interested in knowing that kind of shit. I mean, I do visit my old blog occasionally just to read what I’ve written, and I gotta say, looking back is something I really enjoy doing.

I know it’s better to leave the past behind than dwell on it, but I guess I’m just one of those people who appreciates all the great memories I have. I fondly remember my days back in high school and college, and I gotta say, those were some of most fun days of my life. Probably one of the best parts is that none of them were alcohol induced. Except those days after college when I would hang out at Seng Yip’s house and we would have a can of beer, two packets of nasi lemak and laugh our asses off watching The Simpsons on Star World. And I think it was more because of the TV show than the beer.

Anyway, according to PastPosts.com, one year ago I was still in Inspidea, and it was around the time when I was teaching school kids about storytelling all over Malaysia. There was only one post on my wall – one of the kids saying thanks for accepting his friend request, and me replying him “good luck, I hope you get to go to Disney Land!”. And in my mind, it’s actually all quite fresh. I had a great time teaching those kids, and it was good bonding time with my colleagues and boss who came along on most of the trips.

What’s been new in my life? Well. To be honest, nothing out of the ordinary. One thing I am disappointed with myself is my lack of improvement in my current job. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I can’t seem to stay focused. I can’t get my work done on time. I think since the beginning of the year, I have yet to finish on time. Not good. Maybe I should go do some yoga or meditation or something. Or take some Ritalin. I might have ADD.

Oh yeah, and I realized I am such a heavy sleeper. I remember back when I was in high school and college, I used to be able to wake up at the slightest noise. Now, I can have my bloody alarm clock next to my head, ringing for an hour and I still won’t get up. I set three alarms on my phone all the time just to make sure I don’t miss any, and I still don’t wake up on time. I don’t hear phone calls in my sleep. Hell, I don’t even hear the knocking on my door. People have to come into my room to wake me up. I don’t know why. Is this a problem?

The other day Andrew told me I looked like I was dying. I think I’ve been coughing for about two weeks now. Maybe I am? I think if I die, there’s a high chance I’ll be dying in my sleep. I’ll be sleeping, and some murderer comes into my room, knocks over my guitar stand in the dark and panics. The rest of my house gets up, my mom and sisters would be burst into the room, see the murderer and yell, “GEORGE! GET UP!”, and I’d still be sleeping. The murder will pull out his blade, tilt my head back and slit my throat. I’d probably feel the sharp metal slice my throat, just before I die.

When you die, do you bring the very last sensation you feel with you? Do you carry it in the afterlife? Is there even an afterlife? People like to believe it’s heaven, or hell, or reincarnation. I don’t know. I think everything just disappears, and you cease to exist, you don’t even know you die, and you would have no memories of the past. You’d just be nothingness. In fact, you can’t even be nothing. It’ll be like you never existed. Or something.

Maybe.

The other day, Jason gave one of The Wishing’s songs a title: Whisky and Making Out. Then I thought to myself, damn, I’ve never had that kind of experience before. Then now I think back again. I had some sort of experience like that. Except that I wasn’t conscious. And it was Absinthe, not whisky. Did you know you can spell it whisky or whiskey? I did a quick Google search and apparently there is a difference between whiskey and whisky. I’m glad you guys learnt something today.