Why Would I Write

Category: Rants

  • Plastic Bags/Girls.

    Have you ever wondered why a lot of plastic bags are pink/red/orange? You know, those thin bags that can be easily poked through with a finger. They come in the most horrible colors. Especially those you get from most mini marts or when you take away food from mamaks or hawker stalls.

    Do you ever wonder what goes through the plastic bag manufacturer’s mind when they make these bags? “Yes, these bags are gonna look awesome in shitty pink!” I mean what color are the bags naturally? (oh the irony) I’m assuming they are clear. So do they dye those bags? I mean how do they get those colors onto the bags?

    Then what about clear bags? Are they cheaper or more expensive to make? And why do clear bags seem to be stronger than colored bags most of the time? Does coloring the bag weaken the plastic? Does it matter? No. But I’ve always thought about these sorts of things. Is there a reason to everything?

    Why do girls move on so easily? Is it because they don’t care as much? Why do they find it easier to let go? Do they frame their minds to perceive that guys are assholes who deserve what they get no matter what happened? Because no matter how hard I try, I can call a girl a bitch, and try to mean it but I’ll never feel that way. Like I know that it’s a lie (even though it may be true) that I can’t believe. Are girls naturally designed to move on without a second thought?

    Is forever just a seven letter word?

  • Blurry Bush and Mosaic Cocks.

    So, I never really understood the concept of censoring porn. What is the point of it? Does it make it any less explicit than it already is? Do they get to sell porn at a G rating if it is censored? Why do they blur out the actor’s privates (or publics in this case) when we know what is really going on! They’re not erasing it (which would make a hell of a comedy if they did) so we still see the mosaic-fied penis or vagina. Just that it’s not as clear as the actor’s faces.

    Come on, we all know she’s not gonna be mistaken for doing anything else other than sucking a dick when her head is in between the legs of a guy and her head is going in a back and forth motion, mouth open wide, one hand on her tit (which they surprisingly don’t bother censoring) and while all this is going on the dude is grunting or giving words of encouragement. What else could she be doing? Brushing her teeth? (I’m talking about the regular brushing of the teeth, not with that sort of toothpaste mind you).

    Or how about when the girl is on the bed on her knees and the guy is pounding away at her from behind. And they show a close up shot. A frickin’ close up shot. With their privates censored. It’s like looking at tiles on the floor and listening to the sounds of people having sex. For chrissakes! We know he’s not telling her a bedtime story or helping her with her to tie her shoes.

    If anything needs censoring– wait, nothing needs censoring. People choose to watch porn! It’s not like they’re forced into downloading a 750mb video and made to sit through the whole thing. In fact movies in our cinemas don’t need censoring either. Why the hell do we have ratings when everything is cut up anyway? If kids are watching movies they shouldn’t be watching, blame the parents! Why make the adults who are allowed to enjoy such things suffer the consequences?

  • Paperback observations.

    Why do authors write books with pen names if they reveal their real names in the book itself? I really don’t get it! Sometimes you don’t even have to flip open the book to find out that it was written under a pen name- you can read it on the cover itself! I don’t know why, but it bothers me.

    Why do women on trains wrap up their romance novels? Seriously, I’ve seen countless women on trains reading novels that have their covers wrapped with some fancy wrapping paper. They can’t fool me!

    I just thought to myself- what do covers of romance novels look like? A half-naked man standing with their sculpted bodies glistening in the sunlight and a women (sometimes topless with her long hair draped over her nipples) all over him. Now I realize why women wrap up their novels.

    But fantasy books have similar covers too- you get big breasted half naked women fighting dragons, but you don’t see them covering their books. I guess fantasy readers are proud to be caught reading such books. Haha.

    I started (well, to be more accurate I tried) reading Shakespeare the other day, and man it was HARD! More than half the time I was referring to a dictionary to look up the meaning of some words, and most of the time I’m looking up the meaning of obsolete words which aren’t even used anymore in modern English. I thought it could help inspire me with my writing or something, but it feels like it’s more trouble than its worth. But I’m not giving up.. yet! Who knows? I might get the hang of it soon.