Category: Thoughts

After receiving the news tonight of a relative’s passing, I found myself googling what to wear. The last wake I went to was right after work so I didn’t have to change – I was in working clothes and so were the rest of the people in attendance. However, I don’t wear formal clothes to work anymore, and also – it is the weekend, so I wouldn’t be at work anyway.

Anyway based on my search results, I should be wearing something dark and formal. I don’t think I’ll need to bring a blazer. It’s too hot in Malaysia right?

Wakes are not something I enjoy attending – heck, I don’t think anybody enjoys attending them. Maybe the pastor/monk being paid to run the ceremony. I’ve been to a fair share of them, and even though I wasn’t close to most of the people who passed away, I still felt sad. The collective mood of all the miserable people in the room just amplifies and washes over everybody. Nobody walks out happy.

He was a young man and I didn’t know him very well – the kind of relative I’d only see at Chinese New Year reunion parties. I feel sorry for his father who lost his wife to cancer not very long ago. He must be devastated right now. Nobody wants to see their own spouse or child go off before themselves.

Which made me think about dying. Death is inevitable. It causes so much grief – unless you were someone hated, then happiness (and this point wouldn’t matter anyway). Would it be better to run away and be declared missing rather than dead? I’m not sure which one is sadder but at least being missing does give people hope that you’re still alive. Nobody has to bury your body. There’s no need for a funeral.

I guess some issues will rise – like your unpaid debts and so on, but I doubt it’s any harder to settle than if you had passed away. Is that why pets run away before they die? I did some googling on it, turns out it’s not really true (for dogs anyway).

Wherever you may be now, I’m sure you’re in a better place.
Rest in peace, cousin.

Not writing on a daily basis really takes a toll on your ability to write. At least that’s what I’ve discovered after not writing consistently for quite a period of time. I mean I thought it would be the other way – write less often, ideas build up, and you can unload your brain on the internet.

Nope.

I mean, I sat down here in front of my computer for a good five minutes before even writing the first sentence of this blog post. While thinking of what to write, I shaved my face. The wonders of an electric shaver – I don’t have to shave my face in front of a sink because there was no mess. The electric shaver pulls the hair from your face and cuts it. Most of the hair is then trapped in a chamber instead of falling all over the place. Or maybe it’s because I have pathetic facial hair, so it didn’t really matter in the first place. Every now and then you just open up the chamber and release the hairs. You can then wash it if you like. Make sure you leave it to dry properly if not it’ll end up with a funky smell. Like a T-shirt that hasn’t been dried in the sun. Except it’s a lot worse because you hold the shaver so close to your face, it’s impossible to avoid the smell without holding your breath.

It’s day 25 of my almost month-long trip. It feels good knowing that the end is near, and I can go home to see my family, friends and dog. Sleeping on my own bed. Not having to worry about whether I have enough underwear or cigarettes for the rest of the trip (spoiler: I do – I picked up 3 packs of boxers at Walmart at $7 each – what a steal. Also, bought a carton of Malboros duty-free before my first flight). I also brought plenty of vape juice, cotton and coils.

I bought an overpriced hairband because I lost the one I brought to the US. I don’t know why those things aren’t .99 in the US. They’re just bent pieces of plastic! Not a big deal because I didn’t spend that much else on anything anyway.

Getting a SIM card in the UK was a good idea. I don’t have to worry about being bored on long drives. Then again, I’ve been spending a lot of time sleeping in the car. Something about being in a vehicle that puts me to sleep easily. The constant motion while not being in control? Beats me. Sleep rules anyway.

I wish sparkling water was more common in Malaysia. It’s a fizzy drink without the calories! What more could you ask for? Dr. Pepper. But that’s a bit too much. I wonder if there are Dr. Pepper vape juices. Hmm.

I was genuinely disappointed when Google decided to replace their awesome blob emojis with generic looking faces. I was already annoyed at apps not using Google’s emoji on Android (how is that even a thing?) and now I won’t even get the chance to use them anymore in Google’s own apps. Ah well, they will be missed. By me.

Birdy is a really good singer, with really good songs. More people need to listen to her. Here you go:

Sitting at a Starbucks in Charlotte Douglas International Airport, waiting for my next flight out.

Today marks the end of my first week on a very long buying trip. I haven’t written anything substantial on this blog in ages so I figured I’d just launch notepad, drink some coffee and see what comes up.

In the grand scheme of things, one week isn’t a very long time. But the duration of my trip is probably going to be the longest I’ve spent in a single stretch out of the country. Not that it matters. Personal milestone. Not really. I mean, it’s part of work, so it’s not really an achievement. Speaking of work, whenever people find out I get to travel for work, they think I have a dream job. I mean, sure it is great. You get to go to nice places, you get to eat fancy food, you get to see the world (albeit mostly through airplane and car windows), but that’s it for ‘fun’.

Besides the rare downtime (like I have now, which I should actually be using to get some other work done but I can’t be fucked because I’m exhausted getting up at 5 today) – our schedules are full. No days off, even on public holidays or weekends – after all, time is money and we’re here to work, not play.

So all I’ve been doing for the past week is buy books. Going through sales history of books. Going through our suppliers’ inventories in showrooms and warehouses to look for books. Suggesting how much books should be priced, and how many copies we need to take. It’s not difficult, but when you do it all day, every day, it does get tiring.

I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m complaining about work, because I’m not. I have a good job. It’s not my dream job, but it is very interesting, and it pays the bills. Also, I love books, so I can’t complain about being surrounded by books all the time. Like every job, it has its ups and downs.

Again, I don’t know why I typed out a whole essay about my job but I did.

Waiting at Charlotte Douglas International Airport is kinda annoying. To smoke, you have to exit the airport and go through security checks again just to reenter. I’m probably going to smoke 2 sticks when I land.

My flight leaves at 8pm. It is currently 5pm. I’ve got 2 and a half hours to kill before I head to the boarding gate.

This trip I noticed I’ve been listening to a lot less post-hardcore and pop punk. I’ve been listening to a lot of Birdy and Tegan And Sara. And Oasis. Catfish and the Bottlemen. And more Kavinsky. All great artists. I’m still a fan of palm mutes, chugs, power chords and breakdowns. But I guess I’ve just been feeling more mellow and chill. Lil Dicky is still on constant rotation though. That guy is too good to get rid from my playlist.

Last month I created a Spotify account for the first time. It’s pretty cool, but I don’t find myself going back to use it. Somehow I’m still a fan of locally stored music. Also, Spotify player is pretty ass. Foobar 2000 is life, don’t think I’ll ever replace it. However, access to brand new albums the day of release and easy way to share tracks with friends is great. Also, it’s nice to see what the people I follow are listening to on it. I noticed a lot of surprising scrobbles.

This airport is bustling. People just walking up and down past Starbucks nonstop since I sat down.

Yesterday, while having a smoke, I met a veteran. He was in the area for his son or grandson’s graduation. He told me he was stationed in Korea and Vietnam in the past. He told me about his injuries (apparently he had broken his legs, arms, fingers before). He told me that he was trapped in his hotel room last night because for some reason their door was stuck from the inside. He said his wife almost passed out due to her claustrophobia(?). He told me that in his spare time, he went camping alone with his two knives and an AK-47. He hunted snakes and sold them. He was an interesting old man who smoked orange Pall Malls.

This morning on my flight to Charlotte, the guy next to me started talking to me when the plane landed. He told me he was on a business trip and that he and his colleague were flying their wives in for the week to stay at their hotels as well. Get this, I wasn’t even smoking on the plane! He just opened up to me. Maybe I have a face that signals ‘I care’. If I didn’t write this down, I probably wouldn’t remember all this in a week’s time.

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough on my blog for now. Maybe I’ll write again sometime this week. Maybe not.

I miss Snuggles. Hope she’s doing okay without me. She deserves a better friend.