Why Would I Write

Category: Thoughts

  • Senior citizens.

    So I was just chatting with Jason about how AC/DC ran out of their pension savings that’s why they’re releasing a new album this year.

    Speaking of old people, here’s a post that I jotted down in my phone awhile ago but never got around to posting it up:

    I was at the bank the other day, waiting for my turn (it was taking forever as usual) when I noticed a sign saying that the first counter was for senior citizens. Basically it was saying ‘old people don’t need to queue up, just come to the front and do your shit’

    So I started day dreaming and imagined how life would be like if was a senior citizen. I would be the worst senior citizen ever! I would abuse my privileges every opportunity I got! I would cut queues, I would pretend that I had poor bladder control and use that as an excuse to push ahead in non-senior citizen lines!

    I would make people give me their seats in trains! I would abuse senior discounts! “I’m buying tickets for the whole old folk’s home!”

    If you’ve seen Jackass, then you know the kind of stunts they pull off with old people suits. I would do those kinds of things, stopping short of showing my balls in public. Haha

    I would scold kids who annoy me, and their parents would agree with me just cos I’m an old man. I would crap and piss in my pants just because people expect me to.

    I would take out my false teeth in public and snap them at people’s ears. I would cough in other people’s food and in their faces.

    I would cuss at random strangers and wave my walking stick in the air. When people talk to me, I’ll pretend not to hear them or that I don’t have short term memory just to annoy them.

    Damn, the things that old people can get away with!

  • Single Female Parking


    (Image taken without permission from here. I found it using google search :P)

    So awhile back I was in the cineleisure parking lot when I saw the special parking lots for ‘female single drivers’. Then I thought to myself- female single drivers only? What a great place to pick up single women! I mean think of it this way- girls with boyfriends don’t usually drive to movies or club (I assume that’s what people usually do at cineleisure) alone- they go in their boyfriends’ cars or drive their boyfriends and in that case they wouldn’t be at that spot.

    So, I parked my car at one corner of the car park and waited..

    Just kidding, I didn’t do that. But then I started to think to myself again- was this really a good place to pick up chicks? or did I just discover where all the ugly chicks park?
    HAHA. I kid.

    What about having lots for the single driving guys? Its not like robbers care about who they choose to rob. Guy or girl, as long as they look rob-able.

  • 72 DPI isn’t enough

    So I thought of a DPI related joke. How nerdy is that?


    (click for full size)

    In other news, I thought I was over it. I guess I was wrong. I don’t know why, but for the past few weeks, I’ve just been feeling really bad about the break up. And seeing some pictures and reading some words haven’t really helped at all. Yeah, I know it’s beyond saving, and it’s been quite awhile ago. But why does it hurt so bad?

    At least I can still poke fun at myself.
    Three cheers for two and a half years.