Why Would I Write

Category: Thoughts

  • Grass is green

    Every time I drive by grass cutters, I get scared. But only if my windows are down. Because I always imagine a piece of stray grass flying through the air, into my car and slicing my eye causing me to go blind and crash the car when I panic because all I see is red in one eye. Why do you think they have to wear long sleeves, a face mask and goggles when cutting grass? Flying grass is lethal, that’s why!

    But why does freshly cut grass smell so good? Why does it even smell in the first place? Is it bleeding? Does grass bleed? I don’t know. But all I know is that freshly cut grass smells so good, and grass cutters need to be heavily armored when working.

  • Shower heads

    The only reason shower heads have settings is because girls use them. Seriously. I mean when have you ever felt the need to change the settings on your shower head when you were taking a shower? Never!

    This is what and all a guy will ever need:

    The standard setting for all shower heads and those with no other settings. Nothing fancy here, just a normal shower.

    These are the other modes offered by some shower heads:

    High-pressured shower

    Alright some people might like it, but I don’t. The shower head in my toilet was set to this setting when I went in today (which inspired me to write this post), and it felt like I was ripping my skin off! The water actually hurt! Now I can’t see another situation where water flowing at high-speeds is needed (besides the dam..well come to think of it, it is like a dam. Damn.).

    We don’t need this-

    low pressured flowing water in the center and higher pressure water around the sides. What the hell is this mode for? For getting girls off of course! They’ll use the low pressure water first and slowly build up and then bam! They finish off with the high-pressured water from the sides.

    And then there’s

    I myself don’t even know what that is. But I’m sure it would work pretty well. There’s like high-pressure, low-pressure, zig-zag streams, spirals, the whole Giant, and a whole load more shit. Definitely not for (most) guys. I speak on behalf of the manly men out there.

    Have you guys ever seen the ad which looks something like this?

    We all know what she’s really ‘shh’-ing about
    This is based on a real ad! Seriously! I’ve spotted it a couple of times on some major highways. If I ever get the chance, I’ll get a picture of it. I mean, how subtle can you get?

    P.S. Lame mspaint drawings tonight cos I felt like doing lame mspaint drawings.

  • Sometimes I feel like..

    Harry Potter

    I wonder about my parents. What were they like when they were young? (because they’re still alive now)

    Was your mom miss popular back in high school?
    Were all the friends she hung out with bimbos?
    Were they the smart nerdy types?
    Did she go out partying every weekend?
    Did your dad play Dungeons & Dragons?
    Was he a pot head?
    Was he in a band?
    How did they meet?
    Were they romantic?

    I don’t know where to go with this, maybe I’ll revisit this post in the future :p

    * * * * *

    Awhile time ago, James tagged me with this quiz, and now I’ve finally come around to doing it. I think I’ve done it a long time ago on my geocities blog, but I don’t remember, so it doesn’t count. Here we go!

    1. Open your library. (iTunes, Windows Media Player, iPod, etc.)
    2. Turn on ’shuffle’.
    3. Press ‘play’.
    4. For every section, type the song that’s playing.
    5. When you’re on to a new question, press ‘next’on your player.
    6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool by hiding your Hilary Duff and Westlife songs.

    Opening credits: Hawthorne Heights – Screenwriting An Apology
    Man this song would be so much better for the end song: “Exit now/credits rolling” haha

    Waking up: I Am Ghost – Beyond The Hourglass
    This would be better for a funeral song..why am I getting all the wrong songs? “My heart still beats outside this/Please put the final nail into this coffin/Ten-century has closed”

    First day of school: As Cities Burn – Of Want And Nothing : The Misery That Kills
    “I will hang my life in the space between the noose and your neck/I won’t let you die just yet” School wasn’t that depressing for me! In fact quite the opposite.. maybe my high school crush.. hmm haha

    Falling in love: Taking Back Sunday – Lost And Found
    Finally a song which fits! “Have you seen the girl/With my heart on her sweater?”

    Fight song: Straylight Run – Tool Sheds And Hot Tubs
    “Do you think that this could work out?/ Do you think you could come around?/ Do you think that this could work out again?/ I don’t.”
    I guess this one fits too

    Breaking up: Poison the Well – Turn Down Elliot
    “I’ll hang neck tight from anything for you/ Skies most wanted good-byes/ You missed my face again”
    So tragic :'(

    Prom: The Hunt For Yoshi – Ride The Wings Of Pestilence
    There’s no lyrics for this instrumental cover of a FFTL song..but the original song has the lyrics “I’ll wear your skin as a suit/ Pretend to be you/ Your friends will like you more then they used to”

    Life is okay: Powerspace – Prologue: Adam Beckett
    “And one day someone spoke inside of me/ Young man rise and make your mark/ So today I will be free”

    Mental breakdown: Theme song to the Spider Lilies movie.
    No idea who wrote it or what it’s about, ID3 tags are in Chinese and its an Instrumental. It’s a haunting song anyway. I can imagine listening to it and going insane o.o

    Driving: Dashboard Confessional – Hands Down
    “These hearts they race” LOL. Love this song anyway, and yeah it would fit a driving scene. I can picture it in my head!

    Flashback: Yourcodenameis:Milo – I’m Impressed
    “Congratulations, you’re on time/ Congratulations, you’re on time/ Tonight’s your night but it will pass/ You never thought that this could last”

    Getting back together: The Used – Alone This Holiday
    “Maybe light a candle/ Don’t say a prayer me/ Feel alone cos I’m gone/ I left you, make Christmas your own/ You throw the thought of us away/ You’ll be alone this holiday” Not really huh?

    Wedding: Papa Roach – Crash
    “I refuse to be your victim i refuse to be your slave/ I keep on burning my bridges/ I keep on fucking up everything”

    Birth of first child: Saosin – 3rd Measurement In C
    “Tango with daddy, and separate only/ Smile my only/ Rights of passage!”

    Final battle: October Fall – It Was Summer.. (Baby Steps)
    “You say you’d never let this go/ I say we forget what we know/ Keep taking baby steps/ We’re still so far ahead”

    Death scene: Senses Fail – Buried A Lie
    “I’ll catch the murderer/ And send him away/ I’ll get the evidence/ From your last day” lol

    Funeral song: Lostprophets – Last Train Home
    “To every broken heart in here/ Love was once a part, but now it’s disappeared/ She told me that it’s all a part of the choices that you make/ Even when you think you’re right/ You have to give to take” Damn, this song is sad 🙁

    Ending credits: Dashboard Confessional – Screaming Infidelities
    You know this song is so good, I’ll just post all of the lyrics up :p

    I’m missing your bed,
    I never sleep
    Avoiding the spots where we’d have to speak
    And this bottle of beast is taking me home.
    I’m cuddling close to blankets and sheets
    You’re not alone and you’re not discreet.
    You make sure I know who’s taking you home.
    I’m reading your note over again,
    There’s not a word that I comprehend,
    except when you signed it:
    “I’ll love you always and forever”
    Well as for now I’m gonna hear the saddest songs,
    and sit alone and wonder,
    how you’re making out.
    But as for me I wish that I was anywhere…
    With anyone…
    making out.
    I’m missing your laugh,
    how did it break?
    And when did your eyes
    begin to look fake?
    I hope you’re as happy as your pretending
    I’m cuddling close to blanket and sheets
    I am alone in my defeat
    I wish I knew you were safely at home
    I’m missing your bed, I never sleep.
    Avoiding the spots where we’d have to speak.
    And this bottle of Beast is taking me home.
    Well as for now I’m gonna hear the saddest songs,
    and sit alone and wonder…
    how you’re making out.
    But as for me I wish that I was anywhere…
    With anyone…
    making out
    Your hair.
    It’s everywhere.
    Screaming infidelities.
    And taking its wear.
    Your hair.
    It’s everywhere.
    Screaming infidelities.
    And taking its wear.
    Your hair.
    It’s everywhere.
    Screaming infidelities.
    And taking its wear.
    Your hair.
    It’s everywhere.
    Screaming infidelities.
    And taking its wear.

    I tag whoever wants to do it cos when I write names nobody does it anyway :p