Why Would I Write

  • Cloudy Conversation Catalysts

    Cigarettes are bad for your health. There’s no denying that, but if there’s one thing which I think cigarettes are great for – getting conversations going. Great conversations have started from someone asking for or offering someone a light or a stick. This little stick in your hand holds a lot of power. Sometimes it’s as simple as asking someone, “wanna go for a fag?” or saying “hey, you smoke too!”.

    Maybe I’m imagining things but I think there’s some unspoken bond between smokers which makes it easy to strike up conversation. Be it talking about work, your night out, or just life in general – smoking seems to put people at ease and in a position where they can comfortably say what’s on their mind. Notice how smokes light up before they start talking about something heavy?

    Smokers are also almost always nice enough to share their cigarettes with you. Even if you’re a complete brokeass stranger in a foreign land (true story).

    Sure, not everybody enjoys smoking, and some people will even tell you off for doing so. But the number of people I’ve met who were annoyed by cigarettes is fewer than the number of people I’ve had great conversations with while smoking.

    I’m not here to advocate smoking (do it if you want to, it’s your life) but it’s just something I’ve noticed since I picked it up.

    Haven’t met many people through vaping yet, but I have received random high-fives from complete strangers which I thought was pretty weird. Nobody ever high-fived me for smoking.

    PS After a while I decided, maybe what I’ve written is just my confirmation bias, and people who don’t touch cigarettes have just as interesting conversations.

    PSS Also, it feels great to have one while it’s raining outside. Something about the cold, wet, miserable weather contrasting against the warm yet cooling sensation (if you smoke menthol) in your mouth.

  • The problem with importing a tablet

    So over the Chinese New Year break I decided that I would get a new tablet for myself (and give my trusty old iPad 2 to Max). After some research online, I decided that the NVIDIA Shield Tablet K1 would be the one for me. In terms of price, performance, size and features, it seemed like a great option – especially the price tag (RM955 including shipping). It fit my budget, and it was an Android tablet – something I hadn’t owned before. After 3+ years of using the iPad 2, I figured it’d be a good experience to try an Android tablet.

    I found the tablet on Amazon, checked out, got the SMS from my bank about my credit card being used and smiled to myself. What could go wrong?
    (more…)

  • Re-Entry

    “Get out of here, shoo! You don’t belong here. Fuck off!”
    “Look, I don’t know what you’re hopped up on and I don’t care, but I’ll call the cops if you show up here again.”

    My vision blurry, I stumbled out of the club’s rear entrance, hands fumbling in the air for a wall to prop myself upon. Kids these days, don’t they know who you are? You’re the fucking boss! How dare they disrespect you? So what if you’re high as a kite, you can do whatever you want, it’s your establishment! Yeah! Don’t these kids dope too? Damn hypocrites. Not wanting to get into another scuffle with the bouncers, I decided to approach the club from a different direction.

    I paused for a moment to catch my breath, then I reexamined my options – claiming to be the club’s owner didn’t seem to work and nobody seemed to believe me. It was going to be tough sneaking in because for some reason club security had tightened due to crime-related problems over the past few years. I didn’t have my phone with me, so it was impossible to make a call to my assistant who should be able to get me in with no issues and if I borrowed somebody’s phone, I wouldn’t have been able to call her because I didn’t remember her number.

    I heard the sound of a large vehicle pulling up next to where I exited earlier tonight – it was the ice supplier! Great, here’s your chance to get into the club. I sneaked up to the driver’s side door and waited for him to open it. Just knock the driver the fuck out, put on his uniform and pretend to deliver ice. This was some Hitman-level shit. You’re a freaking genius! When he had half of his body out of the vehicle, I slammed the door onto him.

    However, in my current condition, my door slam translated into a mere thud against the burly-sized driver who got out of the truck with a confused and annoyed look on his face. “The fuck is wrong with you?” were the last words I heard as I felt my body slammed against the side of his truck.

    Ouch. He hurt us. In the distance, sirens approached. Not long after, I felt arms lift me into the back of a vehicle.

    The following day, the papers read “Escaped Metal Asylum Patient Finally Found – Sneaking Into His Own Club!”. Oh boy, now it wasn’t just the voices in my head who were laughing at me.

    Writing Prompt from Reddit: Foreshadow the ending of your prompt within the first five sentences, but make it so subtle that it’ll still be a surprise.