I’ve unknowingly conditioned myself to work better when I’m out of my home, drinking coffee and smoking.

It all started a couple of years ago, when i left work early and decided to do some work at a cafe instead of heading back home. At the cafe, I ordered a cup of long black and drank while I slaved away at my laptop. Little did I know, this was just the beginning.

When I was done with my work later that evening, I realized that I finished a lot of work in such a short time span. My mind told me, ‘it must have been the coffee, keeping me awake and focused!’ Plus when I’m not home, I actually have a reason to focus on work, since I can’t do anything else. At home, I’d just be distracted by my computer games, guitar or my bed.

After that day, I continued doing the same thing whenever I had the opportunity. Cup of coffee, cigarette and laptop open. In fact, tonight, I’m doing the same thing.

I didn’t really think about it until about 10 minutes ago when I was thinking about excuses, and why people use them and realized that I’ve been using excuses myself. Sure, I’m away from my distractions when I’m not at home – but I know people who can work from home just fine. They know how to compartmentalize their time well. Why can’t I?

I’m probably just not trying hard enough, and now, I’m a victim of conditioning. I can’t work at home at all and I take every opportunity to get out of the house if I want to work. Sure, I get my shit done, but I’m also running away from the problem of self-discipline instead of fixing it.

Just some food for thought on a Friday night.