So I saw this article shared on Facebook the other day (despite it being over 3 years old) – a report about adults being chastised for being ‘adultescents’ – 25 to 40-year-old people who don’t have the typical ‘get married, start a family, buy a home’ mindset.
Not too long ago, somebody told me that “I’ll want kids” – he made it sound like it was a crime or abnormal to think otherwise.
Every Chinese new year (or family gathering with relatives I don’t see very often) the same questions pop up. Even your cousin is married, when is your turn?
Normally I don’t care about such ignorant/blanket statements (people can say whatever they want), but for some reason I felt compelled to respond to them today.
First of all, getting married, starting a family, moving out etc – is a choice. It’s not something every human being has to do. Are they lesser people for not wanting those things? No. Are they running away from responsibility? No. Are they immature for doing so? No.
If you can recognize that you’re not capable of starting a family and you decide not to, isn’t that the only reasonable thing to do? If you can’t afford a car or a house, does that make you immature?
What if you don’t have any desire to accomplish those things? You might have other more pressing goals to accomplish – hell, you don’t even need other more important goals. There’s no need to justify your decisions.
Just because our previous generations did all that, it doesn’t mean we have to follow in their footsteps. I mean, there are no rules for life. Maybe don’t commit crimes – that’s it. Live life however you want to. There’s no fixed path for you to get married at 30, start a family and so on. Do whatever you want at your own time. When you’re ready and comfortable. Or don’t do it at all.
For the record, I’m a tax-paying person with a mortgage and a car. I’m not against the idea of getting married or starting a family – I’m against the idea of people thinking that life is a straight line and there are a set of checkpoints everybody has to go through.
Maybe one day I’ll change my mind about marriage and having kids of my own but until then, I’ll just be the cool uncle who spoils his nephews with presents. Hello Max and Jake!
On an unrelated note, Lil Dicky’s music video for Molly dropped today and it’s really good.