So you fought an honest battle, but this was meant to be.

(this post was started on March 20th)
Here I sit in my room, barely awake from a dream I had last night which was one of the oddest experiences ever. I was at a company dinner, it wasn’t mine, I can’t recall who now, but there were ang pows given out, and I picked the one with a hundred bucks. Then later I ended up at some Inspidea company dinner as well, and won another hundred bucks from a lucky draw. I felt pretty happy that night, winning 200 bucks. Other events included me jumping into a swimming pool while dressed up in formal wear. It’s just amazing what dreams are made of. And when you think about how dreams are based on life, it makes you appreciate how wonderful life is. Life is brilliant, it’s amazing in fact. We should spend every waking moment doing what we want to do. But instead, most of the time we just spend it talking, planning, thinking about things, and not seizing the day by the balls and going all out; putting words into action and plans into motion.

I feel that’s what I’ve been doing a lot recently. Here’s the list of things that I said I’d do, but haven’t done yet: my comic, the artwork for my EP, a redesign of this website, sketches to upload to deviant art, pen lyrics for new 2storeyheart and The Wishing songs, finish reading my books, finish my work on time, and that’s only some of the things I can accomplish at home. There’s still stuff to do in the rest of the world. I’m already 25, and there’s a lot I haven’t done.

(resumed March 28th)
What is the point of going for something when you’re uncertain of the future? Do you do things to try and change things into your favor, or do you give up knowing your efforts will go to waste? Do you accept what you’ve been given? Or do you strive to defy all odds? What if no matter what you do, it won’t ever work out the way you want it to be? What if no matter what you do, it works out right, all the time? When do you know to continue chasing something that’s flown away? Does the man who takes his one last breath of air before he jumps into a pool of sharks think about whether he’s going to die from shark attacks or from drowning? How about the pirate with the pistol that pushed you off the plank? Maybe he thinks about the pirate shooting him. Or that giant octopus lurking somewhere?

Is a man idealistic if he jumps into a pool of sharks, and expects to not get bitten, and be rescued by some mermaid or Aquaman passing by? Or maybe saved from above by an angel swooping down from the heavens? How about what about all the water in the sea suddenly drying up leaving the shark to flounder around uselessly? What if the man yells at the sharks, “Hey, I love you sharks! Therefore, you should love me back! All my life I’ve been nice to you, I take care of you, I feed you, I study you, hell I even named my first kid after you guys! Do you know what I mean? Do you? Do you? And you’re just gonna rip my throat out like I’m some any other guy swimming in the ocean, can’t you tell?”

Imagine he did that, and the sharks agree not to kill him, and crown him as king of sharks and they let him be. But then, a Pit bull swims into the middle of the ocean and mauls him to death.