Case of the Drizzles

The week before last, it rained cats and dogs. Since I spent a lot of time walking outdoors, I decided to buy myself an umbrella.

Fun fact, did you know umbrellas are expensive? At least the one I bought from myNEWS was. RM22. More than a pack of cigarettes.

You see, for the past 37 years of my life, I never had to buy an umbrella. There was always one lying around, at home or in my car. We’d get them as gifts, or they were purchased by my parents. I never spent a single cent on one.

Until last week. But let’s go back further in time.

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A couple of months ago, I sent my car for a deep cleaning service. I had a tiny roach problem and since there was no way in hell I could deal with it on my own, I sent it to this place for the whole package.

They took my car apart, removed the seats and mats, gave it a good scrub, got rid of the roaches and eggs, and put it back together – not before unloading a hefty dose of lemongrass throughout the whole vehicle.

My car smelt brand new for weeks. And I had no more fears of roaches running across my windshield or dashboard. It wasn’t cheap (six hundred bucks), but it was worth it. I mean, it was the first proper deep cleaning my car had had since I got it over a decade ago.

Along with the roaches, they threw out many things that were lying around in my car. Receipts, random pieces of string, spoilt pens, and whatever was caught in between the crevices I never bothered to look down.

However, there was one thing they got rid of that they shouldn’t have. My umbrella. It was a large, sturdy, well-built, blue brolly, given to me many years ago during my stint in PR. It had the Microsoft logo printed on its surface(™), but that didn’t bother me.

It was my favorite rain shade. I kept it for so long because it never failed to do its job. The sliding mechanisms worked perfectly and the spokes never poked out as they do on cheaper, lesser umbrellas I’ve used before.

Because it worked so well, I made sure to never lose it. Even when I did leave it behind, I made sure to return and retrieve it. It was an amazing brolly, and it was free.

Anyway, when I got my car back, the umbrella was nowhere to be found. I asked the cleaners who went through their stash of items removed from cars and they said it wasn’t there. Some fucker’s enjoying the best sunshade of his life right now.

Things like that don’t simply go missing. I guess that’s the price I paid for letting roaches breed in my car.

And readers, that’s how I lost my umbrella.

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I was tired of walking in the rain or waiting for it to stop. Nobody gets to decide how wet I become or how I spend my time. So I put matters into my own hands. Buy my own umbrella so I could stop living by the rules of the sky.

It has been a week since I purchased my lovely silver-colored umbrella with yellow trim and I have used it a total of zero times.

Now, why is that? You might ask.

Because I haven’t needed to.

It simply hasn’t rained when I was required to walk outdoors. I didn’t have to go out on days with light showers until the rain was already gone.

So in my car lies the most unused (useless?) umbrella I’ve ever owned. At least until I get to use it for the very first time.

But today, it hit me. Isn’t life all about perspective?

Did I waste my money? Or did I cancel the rain for only twenty-two bucks?

For now, I’ll use it as a stick for self-defense when walking around my neighborhood. I’m not planning to get mugged again.