Humor

Slogans (and the next Harry Potter book)

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A few days ago, I entered a contest at the Shell petrol station. Pump thirty bucks and you get to win something. I don’t even know the prize. Petronas had something similar too, and even better prizes- you could win cars! But you know why I didn’t enter that one? Because it required a slogan. Fucking slogans.

You know what puts people off entering contests? Slogans. I would have entered like a thousand contests in my lifetime if it wasn’t for their slogans.

Maybe its to stop people like me from entering. Maybe. But I just hate slogans! And they always limit you! To twenty words or less! That makes you feel like such an idiot when you can’t even come up with enough words to cut down! You’d wish it was a limit of 6 words!

And when the limit is 6 words, somehow you come up with the next Harry Potter book that doesn’t suck- but then you have to shorten it, and it becomes a piece of shit!


(The next Harry Potter book, Harry Potter X)

I don’t care if it looks more like a softcore porn book than a book about magic and wizardry.
Oh, it’s also going to be the first Harry Potter book where the ‘children’s version’ get the boring cover instead.

(No colors because my monitor is busted at the moment- it’s not showing any reds, so I’m partially color blind on the pc)

Of horror shows.

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You know what’s the problem with our country?
Mirrors. Yes, mirrors. We have mirrors everywhere!
And what’s the last thing you wanna look at after watching a horror movie? A mirror!
Especially when you are washing your face.

When you close your eyes, and lower your face to the sink to rinse off the soap, when you pop back up, you expect to see some ghost standing next to you, ready to eat your soul!

Damn I fell off my stool after typing that last sentence. Must be the poltergeists in my room. (No really, I fell off my stool, don’t think I have any ghosts in my room though.)

The awesome present/date

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I feel like my body has been rewired internally.
Without my consent.
For the past 50 hours I’ve been pissing out of my ass. Not literally. But I’ve been suffering from diarrhea and it is pretty severe.
Medication isn’t helping either. Neither is my avoidance of spicy/milky/oily foods.

I feel like this guy now:

Now that I’ve disgusted you enough, onto my blog post :p

Awesome presents make ‘okay’ dates great, and vice versa.

I remembered the first time I ever planned a ‘special date’ for Raelene. It sucked– really bad. I think I was late for that date, I was broke; we had to order cheap food in a nice restaurant. I totally missed on her present. I bought her a CD of one of her favorite bands (which apparently girls don’t rate high on their list of things to receive as presents from boyfriends -_-” ). That night was horrible.

Fast forward to a more recent ‘special date’ which I planned for her- home cooked food at my place. Prior to that date, I had never ever cooked food for her. I mentioned my dislike for cooking, and how I would never do it. I made her wait in the car while I went in the house ‘to get something’ when actually I was preparing the meal :p I put on some good music, rushed out, brought her in and surprised her. Man, was she happy. That day I didn’t give her a present. It didn’t matter, the day was awesome enough 🙂

Not too long ago was our 2nd year anniversary- I bought her an awesome present. Something she really liked- CK One Summer perfume. She was really happy about it. The date went pretty well- nothing fantastic of anything, but overall it was good because the present was a hit.

Now I don’t know what the point of this post is anymore– I just took a note from my handphone and expanded on it. Haha. I guess it kinda reminds me about a story I heard about what dentists used to do when they pulled your teeth out- they would drop a heavy rock on your foot and while you screamed in pain they would remove your tooth. The larger pain distracts you from the smaller pain.

So if you have a shitty date planned, remember that a great present can save the day! (and vice versa)