Why Would I Write

Category: Rants

  • Merry Christmas!

    You know you’re getting old when your definition of a good day is reaching work on time.

    The other day I had my job appraisal and it was pretty much full of shit. I haven’t been living up to my bosses’ expectations for the past couple of months and I guess it showed. Not being able to lead well, missing deadlines, proposing stupid ideas, slacking at work, and so on. My fault? Probably. The incompetent.. whatever. Since when did I start ranting about work anyway? haha.

    I got the whole week to think of 3 goals which I want to set for myself next year. And one of them has to be related to work. It’s kinda important. I guess its gonna determine my future in the company. However bleak/promising it seems/sounds.

    Anyways, onwards to less depressing stuff– it’s baby Jesus’ birthday today! (not according to some people though).

    SmartTAG should be renamed to DumbTAG. Because the amount of jams it causes is appalling. I face the DumbTAG jam at least once a week. I don’t get how the shitty thing malfunctions once in awhile. Shouldn’t it be working all the time or not at all?! I, myself have caused such aforementioned jams and have nobody to blame but the little white box on my dashboard. Kinda embarrassing having to turn on your hazard lights, reverse and switch lanes. But it’s not uncommon and people expect these kinds of anomalies to happen.

    Just like timing. Is there any other country in the world with Malaysian Time? Are we so backward that even our concept of time has warped with our brains? And the other day I heard about people getting arrested for downloading stuff off the internet? You know, if stuff was actually available for purchase here, people wouldn’t have to download so much shit. I for one would gladly buy CDs of the bands I listen to if I could actually find them in CD stores here. What about tv shows? Why can’t we get comedy central? or Fox? seriously, Astro doesn’t need so many channels. More than three-quarters of those channels are shitty. What’s with the mentality of quantity over quality?

    Which brings me back to.. and we’ve come full-circle again.

    Have yourselves a Merry Christmas and a fucking brand new year.

    Here’s something that I think would make even Julius proud

    HO HO HO!

  • Something is very wrong with the world

    I was just going through my stats the other day, and here is the list of top 10 searches people use to get to my site:

    And i’ll go through each of them one by one.

    1. fucking girl
    I guess it’s not an uncommon topic to search for in this age of internet pornology. But why people would come to my blog instead of a porn site for ‘fucking girl’ amazes me. I don’t even have anything remotely erotic in my blog! Maybe I should write something erotic one day. Test my sexual writing skills. *notes down in list of things to do for my blog to get more hits*

    2. my car stories
    What do people expect to find anyway? Car stories? Man, never in my life have I ever loaded google, and typed in ‘my car stories’. What did these people expect to find? Stories of me getting blown in the car? (lol) Maybe its time I change my domain name to something less sexual 😀

    3. sometimes i feel like ontime
    I searched my own blog for this and found nothing! I don’t even know how my site came up in the search results for this. I don’t even know what ontime means for goodness sake!

    4. why it wouldn’t be nighttime without the moon
    This has probably got to be the most intelligent query ever. Too bad the person who came to my blog searching for info to writeup his thesis probably thought my post was a load of shit. haha

    5. summoning a succubus
    I don’t recall ever writing about such a topic. But if something like that, head over to this site which teaches you “How To Summon A Succubus
    In 10 Easy Steps”    . I kid you not.

    6. prawn noodle
    I blogged about it awhile ago, so I guess its no big deal. Interesting that people would search for prawn noodles in the first place.

    7. fuck girl picture
    Shows what kind of people search for these kinds of pictures- people with bad grammar. And again, I have NO idea how people even find my site using that string. I mean I enter it and get a shitload of porn sites! Blorgy.net is nowhere near the top.

    8. build in shower
    Again, the absurdity of the search scares me. I have no idea what it means, and I’ve only written one post about showers and it has nothing to do with ‘build in shower’.

    9. opposite of smart
    my blog appears in the top 2 result, I guess cos I have a post titled ‘the opposite of smart’. makes me wonder why people didn’t just type in ‘dumb’. lol

    10. naked motorbike
    Even Su Ann was stunned by this. I too was rendered speechless. WTF is a naked motorbike?!?! Do motorbikes even have clothes? haha.

    The internet is full of strange people. And so is comic fiesta.

    Gayest moment of my life- when me (seng yip and james as well) thought this girl was pretty hot. From far. And then discovering she was a HE.

    CF really inspired me. I’m gonna start my own comics and sell them next year. YEAH!. (right)

  • White gloves, white helmet, white motorbike, white stripe.

    Today every traffic cop was on my side.
    It was crazy.

    It reminded me of one of those days I had before where I thought I was going to die- every light was green, and everything was going according to plan. I thought it was my final day on Earth.

    Usually traffic police annoy the fuck out of me. I really see no reason why they should override traffic lights. Unless the traffics lights are not working of course. They let cars go when it is red, and stop cars when it is green, letting whichever side they feel like letting go, go. Depending on the weather/their mood/or whether they are having their periods.

    Anyways, I used to take this road where I would always be on the unfavored side of the evening traffic cop. I would wait at some 1km stretch of road for like 30 minutes cos he would let 3-4 cars go, and then stop us from proceeding any further. I had to resist the urge to get justice blood under my wheels.

    But I’ve always wondered. Why place a cop there when the lights are doing their job? Don’t they trust a simple algorithm that was created specifically to change the color of lights after a certain interval? Must they risk the lives of policemen? How do you think they feel? Standing in the middle of a busy fucking road with cars coming from all directions. Practically naked besides a whistle and some white gloves (clothes won’t save you from getting run over). All these cops have are their own wits and their trust of Malaysian drivers to obey his (yes his because I have yet to see a female traffic cop) waving hands (but then George, why did you say period? because I felt like it).

    Traffic lights work fine, but the PeRson In Charge (PRIC(k)) decides he needs some cops to do the job of something that’s already doing its job. Do you see the logic in that? All our money that is spent on roads- all wasted? Are they funding the cops and the lights? Isn’t that redundant? Why not just have one?

    Can cops be bribed to let you go first? I’d like to think that if I slipped a cop a rm5 note he would blow the whistle and let my car go.

    You know when your country is fucked up? When people who live in it consider bribery normal, and essential to survival.