Why Would I Write

Category: Rants

  • Slogans (and the next Harry Potter book)

    A few days ago, I entered a contest at the Shell petrol station. Pump thirty bucks and you get to win something. I don’t even know the prize. Petronas had something similar too, and even better prizes- you could win cars! But you know why I didn’t enter that one? Because it required a slogan. Fucking slogans.

    You know what puts people off entering contests? Slogans. I would have entered like a thousand contests in my lifetime if it wasn’t for their slogans.

    Maybe its to stop people like me from entering. Maybe. But I just hate slogans! And they always limit you! To twenty words or less! That makes you feel like such an idiot when you can’t even come up with enough words to cut down! You’d wish it was a limit of 6 words!

    And when the limit is 6 words, somehow you come up with the next Harry Potter book that doesn’t suck- but then you have to shorten it, and it becomes a piece of shit!


    (The next Harry Potter book, Harry Potter X)

    I don’t care if it looks more like a softcore porn book than a book about magic and wizardry.
    Oh, it’s also going to be the first Harry Potter book where the ‘children’s version’ get the boring cover instead.

    (No colors because my monitor is busted at the moment- it’s not showing any reds, so I’m partially color blind on the pc)

  • Of horror shows.

    You know what’s the problem with our country?
    Mirrors. Yes, mirrors. We have mirrors everywhere!
    And what’s the last thing you wanna look at after watching a horror movie? A mirror!
    Especially when you are washing your face.

    When you close your eyes, and lower your face to the sink to rinse off the soap, when you pop back up, you expect to see some ghost standing next to you, ready to eat your soul!

    Damn I fell off my stool after typing that last sentence. Must be the poltergeists in my room. (No really, I fell off my stool, don’t think I have any ghosts in my room though.)

  • Chicken Rice Balls (and more stories from my handphone)

    So I haven’t posted in awhile. I haven’t been too free. But all that has changed! Muawahahahaha

    I spent last Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at the office working my ass off (with my colleagues) to meet a deadline (we didn’t make it anyway lol). Reminded me of my final semester at Lim Kok Wing, where I wouldn’t sleep and just work all day and night. Eating like one meal a day, just working, working working..

    Anyways..on to clearing out the saved messages on my handphone:

    I don’t see what’s the point of chicken rice balls- they taste the same as normal chicken rice. You just have a harder time eating it. Someone decided they could make money by making balls out of rice and selling them at higher prices. Well I guess it worked!

    Written when I was on a trip to Melaka awhile back..chicken rice balls FTL!

    Cars should have a ‘go ahead’ light! You sometimes you encounter situations when you’re moving slowly and another car slows down for you, you don’t get it, but when you do and speed up, the other car speeds up and you can’t go anymore.. Sometimes they flash their lights, but you never know what they mean! Go? or don’t go!

    Written when I was annoyed with cars.

    Villains aren’t so cool anymore. I saw a snatch thief victim. Blood all on his hands. I felt pity for him.

    Now I understand why people never glorify real villains.

    My mom doesn’t like going back home before completing everything, its a waste of time i guess it rubbed off on me

    A load of gibberish, but it basically means that nowadays, I don’t like going out of the house, coming back home and then going out again. If I’m going out, I want to get everything done before returning home. Something my mom does all the time. Last time whenever I came back home and went out again, she would scold me, ‘wah you think petrol so cheap ah?!’ so I guess I slowly conformed.

    A mars a day helps you work, rest and play

    I read if on the Mars chocolate bar wrapper.

    Everytime someone jumps a red light, I like to shake my head in hopes that they would see me and feel guilty

    Doesn’t everybody do that? They go ‘tsk tsk’ inside the car, when clearly the other person 10 meters away, behind at least 2 layers of glass can hear them. The things people do.

    My cousin is twelve and I wear smaller shirts than him

    Something is obviously wrong here.

    Bringing sprouts to a cashier, express counter denies entry.

    I always wondered if one day what if a cashier decides to play a prank and deny to serve a customer who brought a bag of sprouts to the express counter. ‘less than 10 items sir! that looks like a 100 beans!’

    And to conclude, I shall leave you guys with a taste of an upcoming project :p
    Click here
    I’m not saying what it is.. yet 🙂