Sitting here alone in this dimly kitchen, I wonder to myself, was this really necessary? Did I really need to get away from the city. What was the point of the trip? Do people really ‘find themselves’? Why do they need to travel so far? Does the distance help? Or is it just the act of going away that’s enough. Is it symbolic? Would things have been any different if I stayed in KL and just locked myself in my room? Maybe.
Maybe not. Being completely by myself for the past 3 days has made me realize I can live alone. I don’t really need to talk to anybody – it’s okay being by myself. I mean, sure, I respond to texts and Instagram comments, but that’s about the limit of my social interaction. I haven’t felt the need to talk to another human being in person. In fact, it feels good not having to deal with anybody right now. However, this doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the company of other people. It’s just nice to do things all by yourself every now and then.
Also, it’s only been my 3rd day here. Who knows if I’ll feel the same way after a week. Anyway, today was spent mostly outdoors. On the plus side I managed to do a lot more writing and reading compared to the previous days.
What I’ve learned so far – being in a serene, magical place doesn’t make ideas suddenly flow into your head. It’s not an injection for creativity. Sure, it helps to be in a different environment from what you’re used to, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be better. It would help if I was trying to create something based on my surroundings i.e. a story that is set in Cameron Highlands (since I’d be able to describe places firsthand). But for the kind of stuff I’m writing, this isn’t the right place to be.
Then again, it could have been my state of mind. I expected some magic to happen, for inspiration to hit when I set foot in this place. I was wrong. I wanted a quiet place to sit down and pen my thoughts, and that’s what I got. What I forgot to wish for was a muse to help me along with my words.
Regardless, I don’t think this trip was a waste of time. I still managed to come up with a couple of songs, some drawings, and watch some shows and movies that I have been putting off for a while (Better Call Saul is so damn good). Also, it taught me that I didn’t need to go so far away to do some writing. Perhaps one of those fancy workplace/cafes in KL would have sufficed.
Anyway, just to show that I’ve been making some music, here are some rough recordings of the songs I wrote so far. Second one is a Dance Gavin Dance rip-off but whatever, I couldn’t get the tune out of my head!