Pay To Die

I’ve always told people who asked that I intend to leave this world when I’m forty. I figured that at that age, I would have experienced everything I would have wanted to experience and it would be a good age to go. But when I first started saying it, I had a long way to go. It hit me recently that forty isn’t too far away. Eight more years, that’s less than a decade.

I still think it is a good age to go, but I was recently asked – what if you’re really happy and successful when you hit forty? I really don’t know. My plan at forty would be to do all the life-threatening activities like bungee jumping and skydiving and hoping one of those activities would kill me. But if you think about it, people don’t die that often doing those things. There’s probably a higher chance of my body developing cancer from smoking or my liver failing from drinking too much alcohol before that.

In case you’re wondering, I’m not planning to kill myself. I just don’t want to be old, sick and a burden to people around me. Also, I’ll save a lot of money for people who plan to take care of me. I won’t have to let them decide if they should pull the plug on me. I’ll be too young to develop the usual old age debilitating illnesses. They can also save even more money with no funeral!

Insurance. Why are people so comfortable with partaking in a business that is predicated on its customer being ill in order to reap any benefits? It’s kinda crazy if you ask me. For the longest time I didn’t bother with insurance because I thought it was a waste of money. I mean, it still is a waste of money – if you live the remainder of your life without being treated for anything major, you’ve essentially given away thousands for nothing. If you do end up using the insurance, it’ll be worth it. But it’s pretty much a gamble – like playing the lottery, instead you put your health on the line in order to win it. Anyway, I still have an insurance plan, but at least it has a savings component so I can get some of that cash back even if I don’t fall sick. I just have to be old enough to withdraw it.

Today, I went to visit my grandmother in the hospital. She’s not doing too well. I’m not sure what’s going to happen. I hate jumping to conclusions but chances are high that she’ll be parting this world soon. She’s had a long and good life, and this may be a heartless thing to say – but she’s going to be happier when she’s gone. I hope she has a speedy recovery or passes away painlessly. Love you, grandma.

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