Why Would I Write

  • Stories from the toilet seat

    I wrote this message on my phone while on the toilet seat at work:

    Every time I take a shit at work, I think to myself “thank God that my office has nice clean toilets!”
    It isn’t dirty, the seats are clean, and the soap smells good. What more could you ask for?

    Like the other day, I went to the toilet in Yuen (I forgot the name of the place, its some famous steamboat buffet in Sunway), the toilet looked like this:


    Man, I didn’t even dare to touch the flush handle to see if it worked. I just used the standing urinal next to it and got the hell out of there. Filthy!

    Anyways, this is what my office desk looks like:

    Dual LCDs and a sweet Wacom tablet 😀 Oh the fun of dragging things around 2 screens!

  • The yellow and green packet


    You don’t even need a high resolution picture to know what I’m talking about

    You know, I just don’t get how some people only use half a packet of seasoning to cook their Maggi mee. I mean really, what’s the point? Don’t waste ingredients! Experience how Maggi is supposed to taste like!

    Sometimes when I find two packets of seasoning in one, I practically jump for joy! I set up a shrine, run around it and dance like a mad man to honor the blessing!

    The next time you cook some instant noodles, enjoy the full experience– use the whole packet of seasoning!

  • More stories from the driver’s seat

    I was listening to this piano instrumental by this Korean dude called Yurima on the way to work the other morning, and I felt like I was going to end up in a car crash! It was like the part in a movie just before a car collides- you see everything in slow motion, all the expressions on everybody’s faces, flashbacks, children crying. So tragic.

    The song’s called ‘Kiss the rain’.

    Speaking of car crashes and rain, I don’t understand why rain causes jams. People just drive a little slower, that shouldn’t be a problem. It’s not like its that hard to see! Imagine if rain wasn’t colorless. Now that would be fucking annoying. Imagine if rain was blue, and it stuck to your windshield. Traffic jams? Understandable.

    The other day as I was waiting for my turn at the toll booth, I thought of how funny it would be to give a RM50 note during rush hour. I thought it would make a pretty good dumbass stunt. Then the dude in front of me decided to read my mind and pull the stunt on me instead! If I was anybody else, I probably would’ve been pissed. But I was laughing to myself in the car.

    * * * * *

    The other day, as I was looking through my wallet for change to pay for the toll, the dude inside the booth said to me “Hey dude! are you listening to the new Circa Survive album? What do you think about it? You should check out this local band, they’re just like them! Hell, since we’re both Circa fans, I’ll let you pass for free!”(translated from Malay of course)

    No of course that didn’t happen. But I was just thinking about the toll booth workers- do they listen to what you listen to when you wind your windows down? Do you think that when you play their favorite song, deep down inside, they actually want to sing along to it, but are afraid to do so? Do you think they get annoyed when you play your music too loud, and you’re taking your time to find your change? Do they want to tell you to turn that shit off?

    I don’t know why, but toll booth people fascinate me. I must find the blog of a toll booth worker one day and read all about his/her life.

    Maybe I’ll try working as one in the future. I’ll be blasting good music from my little booth. Be sure to pass through me then, I won’t report if you speed through the barrier or give me insufficient cash.

    The other day, a cop who was driving next to me kept staring at me. All because I was scratching my head and driving. He must’ve thought I was talking on the phone. What a n00b. hahaha