“Do you ever wonder about the tardiness of people? You know when you’re in traffic, and you see another car on the emergency lane, skipping lights, and putting everyone’s lives in danger – do you ever wonder why?” asked Captain Prompt.

“I do sometimes. Maybe they’ve got somewhere to go, somewhere to be, and they’re willing to risk their lives because it is that important.”

“But sometimes they might just be assholes who don’t give a shit about everyone around them.”

“Yes, that too. Like Ronny.”

“What about him?”

“He comes in late for his shift sometimes, and you know, since I’m a guard, I can’t really leave my post til he’s here, so I have to wait for him. That makes me late to pick up my kids, and I have to get an earful from their teacher and then from my wife when I get home.”

The security guard of the theater continued, “I know! I’ve brought this up with Ronny many times and at first, he became more punctual. But after a few weeks, he slipped into his routine again. The manager can’t let him go because it’s not late enough according to the rules, but it’s a pain in the ass for me!”

“I feel you,” replied Captain Prompt. “I’m doing the same thing right now. Waiting for our dear villains to show up.”

“What are you going to do to them? Do you need my assistance? I can help you out while it’s still my shift.”

“That depends on when they will show up.”

“Shoot, looks like you’ll have to work with Ronny, I should be gone by then.”

Captain Prompt stood at the entrance of the theater and looked around for something to do. “Guess, I’ll just grab myself some coffee and catch up on my tweets.”

“It’s going to be a while, the Grand Wizard hasn’t even arrived yet.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

Writing Prompt from Reddit: [MP] Rather than “just in the nick of time”, the hero shows up 4 hours early, and awkward smalltalk ensues

Raging Inside Me

“All memory of your existence will be wiped from reality. You will die, and no one will mourn.”

“And that is how I would like it to be.”

“No, wait – then why would this be your punishment? That doesn’t make sense – you’re not supposed to get what you want!”

“Well, it’s too late now, I’m here and you have to obliterate me.”

“No, there must be a mistake…”

“I assure you, it isn’t. Now, erase me.”

God looked me in my eyes – I had him in a bind. He couldn’t break his own rules or the universe including himself would cease to exist. I had already set my plans in motion, this was the final step. Too bad I wouldn’t be around to indulge in the aftermath.

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.

Writing Prompt from Reddit: [DP] “All memory of your existence will be wiped from reality. You will die, and no one will mourn.”

Second Stage Turbine Blade

“I started with the hands, cos they looked like the easiest part to swallow. I didn’t have to chew too much. The internals weren’t too bad either. Not something I’d typically consume but it was bearable.”

“Oh god, you must have been famished. I can’t imagine what you did with the shell!”

“Haha, you have no idea. I had to grind it up before it was palatable. No way I could have eaten it whole. Was a pretty interesting experience!”

“Ew! Did you get the shits?” Fred laughed.

Jimmy pulled up a chair and sat at our table. “What are you guys talking about? Sounds juicy!”

“I was just telling Fred that I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time-consuming.”

Writing Prompt from Reddit: [CW] Write a story around a pun, a joke, or a punchline